Fire Doug Nussmeier

Now that I have had several hours to digest the so called game between my beloved Fighting Gators of Florida and the Gulf of Mexico Algae Bloom, I can only come to one conclusion: fire Doug Nussmeier.

While I was fairly certain Alabama was going to win, I did not expect them to open up a 50 gallon drum of Grade A "arse Whip" and pour it all over the Gators. And it really came down to a few plays that broke the seal on that drum.

Running a fricking reverse jet sweep on Alabama? A fake fricking punt? Throwing it over the goddamn middle to Ahmad Fulwood or Brandon Powell and into the loving arms of the Alabama linebackers and secondary when you could throw it to the fricking best receivers we've had in years in Callaway and Cleveland?? Are you looney? Are you that stupid? Trying to run it up the gut on a goal line stand without a green as a shamrock freshman center when Alabama is loading the box more than I load Lyle's mother's box? Grow up Peter Pan, Count Chocula.

And this ain't the first time you've shite in the cookie jar and told us to eat it; first drive of the FSU game you convince Mac to go for it and frick that up too with your shitty play calling. Week in and week out, I've had to drink this piss you call offense and pretend to be happy. We have too much talent and too many resources than to have a worse offense than Vandy.

And before any of you peeter puffing Florida fans start saying, "but but but butty but but we have to give him a chance b/c we had so many OC's since Danny Cockboy left!" First off frick Dan Mullen and frick you too. Our offense is worse than when we had the fricking Crisco Kid Charlie Weis calling plays because at least he used pepperonis to draw up plays. Doug just takes a bag of squirrel turds and plays it as they fall. Even Treon fricking Harris thinks your shite. So do us all a favor and leave. Take a job somewhere else. I wish you well. I really do, but don't come back with some shite eating grin like you got a 12 in pecker and a plethora of hoes at your disposal.

I need a Tylenol or something.