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Fat coaches - an observation ...
Posted on 11/7/13 at 5:14 pm
Posted on 11/7/13 at 5:14 pm
Let's think about this for a moment, and I understand going-in that their may be an exception to the rule from time to time but for the sake of discussion ...
Can a fat fricking tub of lard succeed in the SEC?
Would General Neyland, The Bear, Wally Butts, Vince Dooley, Johnny Vaught ... would they have even allowed a fat fricking tub of lard on their staff?
Has there ever been a successful fat frick in the SEC - or in college football in general?
Here's what we know. Worst coach in SEC history, Fat fricking Bradstard Scott when he was at South Carolina. Period. The fricker has more chins than wins.
Who else we got?
Phat Phil Fulmer. Dude was winning games, thanks to his coordinators but still ... then he allowed himself to turn into a fat fricking collard green eatin' offspring of Jabba the Hut and look what happend. His players lost respect for him, he tanked his program and look at the results. Fulmer gained a solid 75 pounds between his peak heyday years and his last few years. No tub of grease, no keg of natty was too much for that blimp.
Who else we got? Anyone in the SEC? Oh yet ... the hog at Arkansas. That guy has about as much chance of making it big at Arkansas as I do of getting a hummer from Michelle Pfieffer. Loose fifty fricking pounds you fat yankee frick and you've got a chance to at least serve out your contract!
OoC ... Charlie Weis. Need I type more?
Mark Mangino ... just typing it made women all over this county throw up in their mouths.
Ralph Friedgen ... I actually liked the guy. He may have come the closest to being the exception to the rule.
Wanna go pro? Andy Reid, Dennis Green, Romeo fat fricking Crennel and Rex Ryan? Fat fricks all. I mean those guys are/were waaaaay past the beer bellies like Wade Phillips or Big Titty Bill Parcels ... two tough guys, mean, their bellies turned into dick at midnight. They used that little extra weight as an advantage when they were body slamming you on the locker room floor and daring you to miss a block or a miss a tackle ever again.
But these fat boys these days - the latest being Bret Arnold Bielema (or Bab's as his close friends call him at the dinner table) ... if they show no respect for themselves, how can they expect their players to respect them?
Can a fat fricking tub of lard succeed in the SEC?
Would General Neyland, The Bear, Wally Butts, Vince Dooley, Johnny Vaught ... would they have even allowed a fat fricking tub of lard on their staff?
Has there ever been a successful fat frick in the SEC - or in college football in general?
Here's what we know. Worst coach in SEC history, Fat fricking Bradstard Scott when he was at South Carolina. Period. The fricker has more chins than wins.
Who else we got?
Phat Phil Fulmer. Dude was winning games, thanks to his coordinators but still ... then he allowed himself to turn into a fat fricking collard green eatin' offspring of Jabba the Hut and look what happend. His players lost respect for him, he tanked his program and look at the results. Fulmer gained a solid 75 pounds between his peak heyday years and his last few years. No tub of grease, no keg of natty was too much for that blimp.
Who else we got? Anyone in the SEC? Oh yet ... the hog at Arkansas. That guy has about as much chance of making it big at Arkansas as I do of getting a hummer from Michelle Pfieffer. Loose fifty fricking pounds you fat yankee frick and you've got a chance to at least serve out your contract!
OoC ... Charlie Weis. Need I type more?
Mark Mangino ... just typing it made women all over this county throw up in their mouths.
Ralph Friedgen ... I actually liked the guy. He may have come the closest to being the exception to the rule.
Wanna go pro? Andy Reid, Dennis Green, Romeo fat fricking Crennel and Rex Ryan? Fat fricks all. I mean those guys are/were waaaaay past the beer bellies like Wade Phillips or Big Titty Bill Parcels ... two tough guys, mean, their bellies turned into dick at midnight. They used that little extra weight as an advantage when they were body slamming you on the locker room floor and daring you to miss a block or a miss a tackle ever again.
But these fat boys these days - the latest being Bret Arnold Bielema (or Bab's as his close friends call him at the dinner table) ... if they show no respect for themselves, how can they expect their players to respect them?
7
Posted on 11/7/13 at 5:14 pm to scrooster
tl;dr
Posted on 11/7/13 at 5:15 pm to scrooster
It's funny cause they're fat
Posted on 11/7/13 at 5:16 pm to scrooster
quote:
if they show no respect for themselves, how can they expect their players to respect them?
I think it's got more to do with work ethic. Fat people typically lack it.
Posted on 11/7/13 at 5:16 pm to Swoopin
Dude Weiss didn't even stand up at Fla. He sat on a cooler that I think had hoveround capabilities.
Posted on 11/7/13 at 5:16 pm to scrooster
Terry Bowden, AU. Dude was only a bit puffy, went full blown lard arse and was promptly fired midseason and has never recovered.
Posted on 11/7/13 at 5:16 pm to scrooster
Good topic- I hope someone does one on senile coaches next. 
Posted on 11/7/13 at 5:23 pm to Neuromancer
quote:
at coaches - an observation ...
Dude Weiss didn't even stand up at Fla. He sat on a cooler that I think had hoveround capabilities.
That got a laugh from me.
Posted on 11/7/13 at 5:33 pm to GumpMaster&Commander
quote:
Mangino went 11-1 at Kansas. Fat theory debunked.
And he mentions Andy Reid in the NFL who is currently coaching the only undefeated team in the league.
Posted on 11/7/13 at 5:53 pm to GeauxWarTigers
Hey did I, or did I not, offer full disclosure and say that there are exceptions to the rule?
But even the exceptions to the rule are short lived and one hit wonders. They never last.
But even the exceptions to the rule are short lived and one hit wonders. They never last.
Posted on 11/7/13 at 7:30 pm to piggilicious
quote:
Good topic- I hope someone does one on senile coaches next
well we know who would be at the top of this list - Lou " no clue" Holtz!
Posted on 11/7/13 at 7:32 pm to scrooster
Are you fat?
Posted on 11/7/13 at 7:36 pm to piggilicious
Our senile coach already forgot what we did to arky. But your fat coach remembers. Oh, he remembers.
Advantage senile.
Advantage senile.
Posted on 11/7/13 at 7:37 pm to scrooster
Is this a Beliema thread?
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