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Another Auburn joke

Posted on 8/10/08 at 9:14 pm
Posted by Cracking
Northshore
Member since Aug 2006
3431 posts
Posted on 8/10/08 at 9:14 pm

A small zoo in Auburn, Alabama obtained a very rare species of gorilla.

Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very difficult to handle. Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in heat. To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available.

Thinking about their problem, the Zoo Keeper thought of Bobby Lee Walton, a redneck part-time worker attending college in Auburn who was responsible for cleaning the animal cages. Bobby Lee, like most rednecks attending college in Auburn, had little sense but possessed ample ability to satisfy a female of any species.

The Zoo Keeper thought they might have a solution. Bobby Lee was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for $500.00?

Bobby Lee showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully. The following day, he announced that he would accept their offer, but only under five conditions:

"First", Bobby Lee said, "I ain't gonna kiss her on the lips." The Keeper quickly agreed to this condition.

"Second", he said, "She must wear a 'Dale Earnhardt Forever' T-Shirt." The keeper again readily agreed to this condition.

"Third", he said, "you can't never tell no one about this." The keeper again readily agreed to this condition

"Fourth", Bobby Lee said, "I want all the children raised Southern Baptist." Once again it was agreed.

"And last," Bobby Lee said, "I'll need another week to come up with the $500.00."... War Eagle
Posted by puttytat
BEACH
Member since Apr 2005
5374 posts
Posted on 8/10/08 at 9:16 pm to
Posted by harrisonc
Member since Jan 2007
325 posts
Posted on 8/11/08 at 2:02 am to

Posted by inelishaitrust
Oxford, MS
Member since Jan 2008
26078 posts
Posted on 8/11/08 at 4:33 am to
Good work.
Posted by SouthEndzoneTiger
Louisiana
Member since Mar 2008
10591 posts
Posted on 8/11/08 at 8:13 am to
Years down the road, as fate would have it, Steve Spurrier passed away. As he reached his place in heaven, there was God to greet him and show him where he would spend eternity. God showed him a nice, quaint little house. As they entered the front door there was a Florida banner hanging to represent a big part of his life on earth. The accomodations were nice enough, but very humble. Spurrier was very gracious and thanked God for everything. As he approached the back of the house, near a window, Spurrier noticed, a long way off in the distance, a huge mansion. It sat atop a big hill. It had massive columns that were 4 stories high. It was enormous and could be seen from miles away. Hanging in between two of the columns was a huge, beautiful, purple and gold flag with the letters L-S-U clearly visible. Spurrier went over to God and said, "God, I really appreciate the place you have given me here. And I will gladly accept it and spend the rest of eternity here, humbly. But I have to ask. Why is it that Les Miles gets such a massive, huge mansion?" God peers out the window and looks at the house on the hill, looks at Spurrier, and says, "Oh, no, that's MY house."
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