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Good Bull Story Thread
Posted on 2/20/15 at 2:17 pm
Posted on 2/20/15 at 2:17 pm
It was suggested we have a Corps Story thread but I thought why limit it to only those of us in the Corps. You non-regs have some great stories as well, so why don't we have a Good Bull story thread. If the community doesn't like it the thread will sink and go away soon enough.
I'll start:
As fish in the corps as you know it is a Spartan life and there are all types of crazy rules you must abide by. One of those being you cannot know anything about death, dying, killing etc. Those are senior privilege words.
Well, one of my buddies in A Co was particularly prone to trying to sneakily break these rules. He was the younger brother to a former bandsman and enjoyed playing the game that is corps life. So early in our fish year he takes his low quarter and writes with the rubber heel on the ceiling of his hole (room) KILL '99.
It stayed up there most of first semester through all sorts of inspections and the daily life of being a fish and only us fish knew about it. Come almost spring break time second semester, we figured it was going to be up there and would not be discovered. It was an inside joke amongst us that it was there. But one afternoon right after lunch several us were coming into the dorm and we hear "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT????!!!!!????"
One of the butts who wished she was still a pisshead had looked up and seen KILL '99.
She comes out in the hall and pulls all of us who just got there into the room to be with our buddy. She pointed at the ceiling and yelled WHAT IS THAT??? Of course we start in with the fish answer: Ma'am, NOT BEING INFORMED...
"SHUT UP"!!! Really what does it say???
Bill speaks up:
66 Lick (how kill would sound backwards)
She yells "Oh horsesh*t!!! Don't give me that!!!'
She storms out and comes back with some of her buddies and some of the pissheads. They look at it and send all of us back to our rooms.
So now we are all scared sh*tless wondering what in the hell is going to happen.
That afternoon the normal activities happen. We are shocked. Stupid fish we are we think ok maybe we have seen the worst of it. We were wrong.
The next morning since we Killed '99. '98 woke us up and were the acting pissheads for the rest of the week. It so happened that Bill had a bag in that morning. (meaning he was excused from morning corps stuff and got to sleep in) We all fell out into the hall and Bill was not with us. Oh my GOD. The Butts went crazy. He ended up coming out into the hall to be with us. Of course that made things worse. The crap outs and all the things we did that week were terrible. We did not see anyone from '99 the whole week.
Looking back it was really funny. Our zips thought it was hilarious. But we thought we were going to die.
I'll start:
As fish in the corps as you know it is a Spartan life and there are all types of crazy rules you must abide by. One of those being you cannot know anything about death, dying, killing etc. Those are senior privilege words.
Well, one of my buddies in A Co was particularly prone to trying to sneakily break these rules. He was the younger brother to a former bandsman and enjoyed playing the game that is corps life. So early in our fish year he takes his low quarter and writes with the rubber heel on the ceiling of his hole (room) KILL '99.
It stayed up there most of first semester through all sorts of inspections and the daily life of being a fish and only us fish knew about it. Come almost spring break time second semester, we figured it was going to be up there and would not be discovered. It was an inside joke amongst us that it was there. But one afternoon right after lunch several us were coming into the dorm and we hear "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT????!!!!!????"
One of the butts who wished she was still a pisshead had looked up and seen KILL '99.
She comes out in the hall and pulls all of us who just got there into the room to be with our buddy. She pointed at the ceiling and yelled WHAT IS THAT??? Of course we start in with the fish answer: Ma'am, NOT BEING INFORMED...
"SHUT UP"!!! Really what does it say???
Bill speaks up:
66 Lick (how kill would sound backwards)
She yells "Oh horsesh*t!!! Don't give me that!!!'
She storms out and comes back with some of her buddies and some of the pissheads. They look at it and send all of us back to our rooms.
So now we are all scared sh*tless wondering what in the hell is going to happen.
That afternoon the normal activities happen. We are shocked. Stupid fish we are we think ok maybe we have seen the worst of it. We were wrong.
The next morning since we Killed '99. '98 woke us up and were the acting pissheads for the rest of the week. It so happened that Bill had a bag in that morning. (meaning he was excused from morning corps stuff and got to sleep in) We all fell out into the hall and Bill was not with us. Oh my GOD. The Butts went crazy. He ended up coming out into the hall to be with us. Of course that made things worse. The crap outs and all the things we did that week were terrible. We did not see anyone from '99 the whole week.
Looking back it was really funny. Our zips thought it was hilarious. But we thought we were going to die.
This post was edited on 2/20/15 at 2:19 pm
8
Posted on 2/20/15 at 2:26 pm to AgBQ00
Great thread and good story! 
My Good Bull story happened two years ago. I was driving home from work in my Prius when I rear-ended the guy in front of me. Totally my bad, totally my fault for following too close.
He jumps out of the car yelling at me because he had his daughter with him and I endangered her. I help up my ring hand and said "I greatly apologize sir." He sees the ring and says "Oh, you are an Aggie too?" and calms down 100%. All of a sudden the anger is gone and we swap info and years. He doesn't even call the police, we just move on with him wishing me a good day at the end of it.
So my ring has saved me from one arse kicking in this life I should have gotten.
Whose up next?
My Good Bull story happened two years ago. I was driving home from work in my Prius when I rear-ended the guy in front of me. Totally my bad, totally my fault for following too close.
He jumps out of the car yelling at me because he had his daughter with him and I endangered her. I help up my ring hand and said "I greatly apologize sir." He sees the ring and says "Oh, you are an Aggie too?" and calms down 100%. All of a sudden the anger is gone and we swap info and years. He doesn't even call the police, we just move on with him wishing me a good day at the end of it.
So my ring has saved me from one arse kicking in this life I should have gotten.
Whose up next?
Posted on 2/20/15 at 2:47 pm to AgBQ00
None of that makes sense to me.
Posted on 2/20/15 at 2:56 pm to AgBQ00
I know exactly who you are referring to. She's currently an Army Major working at the Pentagon.
I'll add one of my own. (you might have heard this one)
Our fish year (B-Battery), our Scholastics Sergeant was...let's say...not the most studious individual (think a fat version of Mario Lopez).
Anyway, during CQ one night, he catches one of my buddies with the Playboy 1997 calendar edition in his room during CQ during one night in the Spring semester.
That Friday...needless to say, we paid for it in one of the most bizarre and hilarious ways possible. I'll give some direct quotes:
"I've read through this document at least 10 times...and there is minimal scholastic value in it."
"Miss January...her name...is Melissa...you will now push...for Melissa"
"ONE MELISSA...TWO MELISSA..."
"Miss February...her name...is Tiffany...you will now push...for Tiffany"
We thought he was going to go through the whole damn calendar. He had the females say "ONE CURLING IRON...TWO CURLING IRON"
Fortunately, he figured after May that we had learned our lesson.
I'll add one of my own. (you might have heard this one)
Our fish year (B-Battery), our Scholastics Sergeant was...let's say...not the most studious individual (think a fat version of Mario Lopez).
Anyway, during CQ one night, he catches one of my buddies with the Playboy 1997 calendar edition in his room during CQ during one night in the Spring semester.
That Friday...needless to say, we paid for it in one of the most bizarre and hilarious ways possible. I'll give some direct quotes:
"I've read through this document at least 10 times...and there is minimal scholastic value in it."
"Miss January...her name...is Melissa...you will now push...for Melissa"
"ONE MELISSA...TWO MELISSA..."
"Miss February...her name...is Tiffany...you will now push...for Tiffany"
We thought he was going to go through the whole damn calendar. He had the females say "ONE CURLING IRON...TWO CURLING IRON"
Fortunately, he figured after May that we had learned our lesson.
This post was edited on 2/20/15 at 2:58 pm
Posted on 2/20/15 at 2:57 pm to cardboardboxer
That is awesome!! I have actually gotten job before because of my ring. In Louisville Kentucky none the less.
Posted on 2/20/15 at 3:08 pm to AgBQ00
One from our pisshead year (you can thank AgBQ00 for getting me started)
We had a fish from the class of 2001 who...had issues...to say the least.
Naturally, we paired him with one of my buddies who everyone thought was mentally unstable (of course now he's the most successful out of all of us monetarily and at life so far) who had a way of getting in your head whether you were an upperclassman, fish, or buddy.
Anyway, during a typical session in Duncan, he does his normal thing with this fish, digging into him to get an answer. He then follows it up with, "You'd better not be lying to me".
What followed was legendary:
This stick figure of an individual stands up, enraged, grabs the stack of napkins, and starts throwing them in my buddy's face, shouting, "frick YOU, I'M NOT A LIAR...frick YOU" and storms out of Duncan.
DEAD...SILENCE throughout Duncan.
The 1998 CO pulled us all aside and asked how we wanted to handle it. We told him what we wanted to do and he supported it.
The next day (Friday), we had the fish on the wall...the CO gives them a senior rest ordering them not to address anyone not currently in that hallway...and it begins.
The buddy in question, simply says, "Don't EVER disrespect us", then we all leave the hallway, letting them stand in silence at the position of attention for the next 30 minutes.
We smoked them the rest of the afternoon after giving them time to think about what happened. The fish in question ended up quitting.
We had a fish from the class of 2001 who...had issues...to say the least.
Naturally, we paired him with one of my buddies who everyone thought was mentally unstable (of course now he's the most successful out of all of us monetarily and at life so far) who had a way of getting in your head whether you were an upperclassman, fish, or buddy.
Anyway, during a typical session in Duncan, he does his normal thing with this fish, digging into him to get an answer. He then follows it up with, "You'd better not be lying to me".
What followed was legendary:
This stick figure of an individual stands up, enraged, grabs the stack of napkins, and starts throwing them in my buddy's face, shouting, "frick YOU, I'M NOT A LIAR...frick YOU" and storms out of Duncan.
DEAD...SILENCE throughout Duncan.
The 1998 CO pulled us all aside and asked how we wanted to handle it. We told him what we wanted to do and he supported it.
The next day (Friday), we had the fish on the wall...the CO gives them a senior rest ordering them not to address anyone not currently in that hallway...and it begins.
The buddy in question, simply says, "Don't EVER disrespect us", then we all leave the hallway, letting them stand in silence at the position of attention for the next 30 minutes.
We smoked them the rest of the afternoon after giving them time to think about what happened. The fish in question ended up quitting.
Posted on 2/20/15 at 8:36 pm to AgBQ00
BQ story. My senior year my company won the march-in competition for the first time in my class' previous years. So we were kinda pumped, though we were typically more about athletics than military crap. The next day one of our BQ buddies came to hang out in dorm 12 and play 42. Note: He did NOT fear coming into our dorm and being assaulted by continuous whipouts, you cultish BQ dicks. (I mean cultish BQ dicks in a nice way.) It's possible that we bragged about our marching capabilities once the beer got going. There may have even been some dumb bastard claiming we marched as well as the band.
The next home game our company got within about 15 feet of the reviewing stand when the band suddenly and inexplicably started playing "The Tennessee Waltz". Think about trying to keep cadence and you'll see the problem. We had guys lunging all over the damn place trying to keep step. We chalked it up to just bad luck and BQs being artsy. After all no BQ in a position to dictate the music knew us much as far as we knew, and anyhow the sheer outlandishness of doing this on purpose was too out there to contemplate.
34 years later that same BQ was staying under my motherfrickin' roof for the '12 Ole Miss game and owned up to it without being prompted. He took real offense to us bragging about marching well and spent all week talking the scheme up, and pulled it off. Brilliant execution. That he took half a lifetime to 'fess up somehow makes it more impressive to me. I'm still plotting F-1's revenge.
The next home game our company got within about 15 feet of the reviewing stand when the band suddenly and inexplicably started playing "The Tennessee Waltz". Think about trying to keep cadence and you'll see the problem. We had guys lunging all over the damn place trying to keep step. We chalked it up to just bad luck and BQs being artsy. After all no BQ in a position to dictate the music knew us much as far as we knew, and anyhow the sheer outlandishness of doing this on purpose was too out there to contemplate.
34 years later that same BQ was staying under my motherfrickin' roof for the '12 Ole Miss game and owned up to it without being prompted. He took real offense to us bragging about marching well and spent all week talking the scheme up, and pulled it off. Brilliant execution. That he took half a lifetime to 'fess up somehow makes it more impressive to me. I'm still plotting F-1's revenge.
Posted on 2/20/15 at 8:53 pm to finestfirst79
I sense an exploding toilet on his future
Posted on 2/20/15 at 9:00 pm to finestfirst79
You guys are cool. I wish I had a tailgate worth a darn.
Posted on 2/20/15 at 9:08 pm to finestfirst79
Now that is funny
Posted on 2/20/15 at 10:08 pm to cardboardboxer
quote:
I wish I had a tailgate worth a darn.
Odd comment to a CT. Or any recently graduated CT. Ya know how many times we had a tailgate? To this day it strikes me as odd when fans of A&M and various teams brag about tailgating. What is this tailgate you speak of?
Posted on 2/20/15 at 10:12 pm to finestfirst79
I am not bragging, I don't have a tailgate. Last time I put my chairs between parked cars. Just would be nice to catch a beer before a game.
Posted on 2/20/15 at 10:58 pm to cardboardboxer
Hit SafetySam or I up before the next big away game. We haven't had nekkid dancing women or anything like that, but the Ole Miss ladies mostly made up for it. Their mommas would definitely not approve of their clothing non-choices. At USC we just dumb-lucked our way into classmate's brother's tailgate, who was a USC guy. But in all cases their has been plenty of beer.
Posted on 2/20/15 at 11:01 pm to finestfirst79
Cool!
Posted on 2/21/15 at 12:02 am to AgBQ00
quote:
One of those being you cannot know anything about death, dying, killing etc. Those are senior privilege words.
Good fricking lord.
quote:
takes his low quarter
quote:
One of the butts who wished she was still a pisshead
quote:
Of course we start in with the fish answer
quote:
So now we are all scared sh*tless wondering what in the hell is going to happen.
Sounds like class of '00 was pretty light in the sack.
quote:
had a bag in that morning
quote:
The crap outs
quote:
zips
I have pointed out the reasons why this story should embarrass the shite out of you and never be told again, you're welcome.
Posted on 2/21/15 at 5:30 am to WhiskerBiscuitSlayer
[edited to let the good times roll ]
]This post was edited on 2/21/15 at 7:45 am
Posted on 2/21/15 at 7:25 am to TbirdSpur2010
You sir are interrupting me trying to upset the band queers and Class of '79 geezers.
Posted on 2/21/15 at 7:45 am to WhiskerBiscuitSlayer
Edited 
I'm all for messin' with bq's
I'm all for messin' with bq's
This post was edited on 2/21/15 at 7:46 am
Posted on 2/21/15 at 7:54 am to WhiskerBiscuitSlayer
quote:
I have pointed out the reasons why this story should embarrass the shite out of you and never be told again, you're welcome
From the inside looking out, it's hard to explain.
From the outside looking in...you can go frick yourself.
Posted on 2/21/15 at 9:07 am to AgBQ00
I need translations to get the full humor of this.
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