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What's the weirdest metaphor you've heard?
Posted on 12/18/14 at 10:03 am
Posted on 12/18/14 at 10:03 am
Earlier a coworker and I were complaining about the higher ups and I said that their problem is that they overthink problems. My coworker agrees and says "I know what you mean, it's like they want to measure the depth of the ocean when there's a ball floating on the surface, and it's like why would you break out the scuba gear when all you have to do is scoop up the ball with a net?"
Uhhhh... My thoughts exactly, bro
Uhhhh... My thoughts exactly, bro
11
Posted on 12/18/14 at 10:05 am to BowlJackson
Sammie Coates pushed off
Posted on 12/18/14 at 10:19 am to Hardy_Har
"Daddy, I'm mad at you."
"Why?"
"Because you're being mean. You won't let me do that and that's mean."
"I'm your dad and you will listen to what I say or get in trouble."
"Why?"
"Well, you know how you like pushing down your baby sister and making her cry when mommy and daddy aren't looking?"
".....yes..."
"Well, think of it like this: Essentially I'm your big sister and if you don't listen to me, I'll spank your butt and it'll hurt far worse than the abuse you inflict upon your baby sister."
(crickets)
"Why?"
"Because you're being mean. You won't let me do that and that's mean."
"I'm your dad and you will listen to what I say or get in trouble."
"Why?"
"Well, you know how you like pushing down your baby sister and making her cry when mommy and daddy aren't looking?"
".....yes..."
"Well, think of it like this: Essentially I'm your big sister and if you don't listen to me, I'll spank your butt and it'll hurt far worse than the abuse you inflict upon your baby sister."
(crickets)
This post was edited on 12/18/14 at 10:22 am
Posted on 12/18/14 at 10:21 am to mizzoukills
quote:
it like this. I'm your big sister, except I'm really strong, and if you don't listen to me, you'll be in a world of hurt far worse than your baby sister."
Nice parenting.
Posted on 12/18/14 at 10:24 am to mizzoukills
He was raised by two gay dudes. Be nice.
Which is just as acceptable as it is unfortunate.
Which is just as acceptable as it is unfortunate.
This post was edited on 12/18/14 at 10:25 am
Posted on 12/18/14 at 10:35 am to Hardy_Har
quote:
He was raised by two gay dudes. Be nice.
Ahhhh...well then
quote:
Which is just as acceptable as it is unfortunate.
what a paradox
Posted on 12/18/14 at 11:54 pm to BowlJackson
It's cold enough to freeze the balls of a pool table.
Posted on 12/19/14 at 12:15 am to BowlJackson
Off the top of my head, "Ah hell, I've gotta shite worse than a 3 legged crippled coon"
I've laughed my arse off listening to some of the shite people say in East TN.
I've laughed my arse off listening to some of the shite people say in East TN.
This post was edited on 12/19/14 at 12:17 am
Posted on 12/19/14 at 12:42 am to BowlJackson
Not really weird, but,
"Shaking like a dog trying to shite a peach seed," puts such a vivid image in my head and I laugh every time.
"Shaking like a dog trying to shite a peach seed," puts such a vivid image in my head and I laugh every time.
Posted on 12/19/14 at 12:56 am to BowlJackson
Madder than a three-legged dog trying to bury a turd on an icy lake.
(I don't care who ya are, that's funny right there)
(I don't care who ya are, that's funny right there)
Posted on 12/19/14 at 4:46 am to HempHead
quote:I
"Shaking like a dog trying to shite a peach seed," puts such a vivid image in my head and I laugh every time.
Might use that one...
Posted on 12/19/14 at 6:04 am to PepaSpray
Same guy just told me "There's more than one way to skin a cat."
Which wouldn't be a weird metaphor if he had referred to a game animal... But he said cat which is kind of serial killerish
Which wouldn't be a weird metaphor if he had referred to a game animal... But he said cat which is kind of serial killerish
Posted on 12/19/14 at 7:16 am to BowlJackson
As a younger dude, I would sometimes not do chores and then make excuses, my dad sometimes countered with this:
"If a frog had a pocket for a .38, he wouldn't have to worry about snakes eating him".
It wasn't the weirdest one, but definitely one of my favorites
"If a frog had a pocket for a .38, he wouldn't have to worry about snakes eating him".
It wasn't the weirdest one, but definitely one of my favorites
Posted on 12/19/14 at 8:25 am to Robert Goulet
quote:
"If a frog had a pocket for a .38, he wouldn't have to worry about snakes eating him".
Wut?
You win. Thats fricking weird right there.
Posted on 12/19/14 at 8:53 am to BowlJackson
quote:
"There's more than one way to skin a cat."
that's a pretty common one, heard it myself
Posted on 12/19/14 at 9:00 am to MasCervezas
But why would you skin a cat, Jeffrey Dahmer?
Posted on 12/19/14 at 9:12 am to BowlJackson
I don't know about weirdest but one of the funniest I've heard is....
Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it's probably crap.
Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it's probably crap.
Posted on 12/19/14 at 10:09 am to BowlJackson
My dad used to say that sometimes I was madder than a one legged indian in a butt kicking contest. WTF where did that come from. But it worked I usually cooled right down thinking about that.
Posted on 12/19/14 at 10:17 am to Robert Goulet
quote:
"If a frog had a pocket for a .38, he wouldn't have to worry about snakes eating him".
"If grasshoppers carried .45s, birds wouldn't frick with 'em"
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