I want to cook at Waffle House for a day

Your fantasy is being surrounded by truck stop waitresses and chilli

Mine is surrounded by victoria secret angels, levitra, and cocaine

I doubt it's hard to get hired at Waffle House....

Just apply, and then quit after your first day at work. Fantasy complete.

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I'd like to umpire a MLB game.

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frick yeah that would be awesome.

I'd have a pretty exaggerated strikeout call. And toss any frickers that even look at me weird.

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It would be cool to do on a slow day. If busy you'd walk out in the middle of it

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You're basically just flipping patties and bacon on the griddle all day. The hashbrowns go in that circle metal ring thing, so there's nothing to that. The only thing that would be hard would be if someone ordered an omelet. I can't get those things not to fall apart.....

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I'd like to umpire a MLB game.

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Couldn't do it... i'd be bailing out on every pitch...

involves peanut butter, whipped cream and assorted small fruit

and that's as far as I'm gonna go here..

I got to sit in the booth at a Braves game with Skip and Ernie once. I'd love to do play by play for a couple of innings.