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Presents culture - this needs to end
Posted on 12/14/14 at 2:16 pm
Posted on 12/14/14 at 2:16 pm
I'm sick of buying presents, getting presents, thinking about what to buy others, having to tell other people what they can buy me. It's fricking ridiculous! I swear, a solid portion of our lives and our bank accounts is dedicated to this unnecessary nonsense.
Christmas is for children. As soon as you are able to get a job and drive a car, the Christmas gifts should end. Adults can just send each other cards, wish each other a merry Christmas, and share a bottle of wine or whisky and call it a day.
My girlfriend gets invited to at least 1 party/month where a gift is expected. We aren't struggling financially or anything, but we are middle class and it would be nice to tuck that money away for our future instead of buying gifts for every girl she had anything to do with and who we maybe see once a year.
I propose the following. Gifts should only be bought:
1. For kids 15 and under for Christmas.
2. For people 17 and younger for their birthday.
3. For a couple on their wedding day.
4. For your partner on your wedding anniversary.
Christmas is for children. As soon as you are able to get a job and drive a car, the Christmas gifts should end. Adults can just send each other cards, wish each other a merry Christmas, and share a bottle of wine or whisky and call it a day.
My girlfriend gets invited to at least 1 party/month where a gift is expected. We aren't struggling financially or anything, but we are middle class and it would be nice to tuck that money away for our future instead of buying gifts for every girl she had anything to do with and who we maybe see once a year.
I propose the following. Gifts should only be bought:
1. For kids 15 and under for Christmas.
2. For people 17 and younger for their birthday.
3. For a couple on their wedding day.
4. For your partner on your wedding anniversary.
15
Posted on 12/14/14 at 2:19 pm to Jon Ham
I prefer getting gift cards, but the brownie points I get for getting wifey thoughtful gifts are worth it for me personally.
Sounds terrible but I don't really vend over backwards to get my family Christmas gifts. I'm close with them, but I have a big family and it's just not feasible/practical/affordable to get each of them a personalized gift.
Sounds terrible but I don't really vend over backwards to get my family Christmas gifts. I'm close with them, but I have a big family and it's just not feasible/practical/affordable to get each of them a personalized gift.
Posted on 12/14/14 at 2:24 pm to Jon Ham
I think gifts for immediate family and close friends are appropriate. Disagree with having to make the annual Christmas call to some great aunt you've never met too.
Posted on 12/14/14 at 2:24 pm to Jon Ham
It's never really been an issue for me or my family. Then again we set a limit for the "adults" and focus on doing it more for the kids. When the family was bigger we drew names to eliminate having to buy for every single person. Told my grandmother once not to get me anything and she did it anyway.
Meh. All depends on how you approach it.
Sounds like the girlfriend needs some better friends. Usually when we do birthday parties for adults, it's basically a "come drink with us" deal. No gift expectations. If it's a close friend I'll get them something, but not out of expectations. Just simply because sometimes it's nice to give.
quote:
Christmas is for children.
Meh. All depends on how you approach it.
quote:
My girlfriend gets invited to at least 1 party/month where a gift is expected.
Sounds like the girlfriend needs some better friends. Usually when we do birthday parties for adults, it's basically a "come drink with us" deal. No gift expectations. If it's a close friend I'll get them something, but not out of expectations. Just simply because sometimes it's nice to give.
This post was edited on 12/14/14 at 2:29 pm
Posted on 12/14/14 at 2:26 pm to Jon Ham
I was completely ignorant of two gifts:
1. wedding day gift for my wife
2. a push present. seriously WTF??
She had never heard of the push present either.
1. wedding day gift for my wife
2. a push present. seriously WTF??
She had never heard of the push present either.
Posted on 12/14/14 at 2:26 pm to Jon Ham
I completely agree. It should be for kids and/or spouses.
My family, or certain members of it, made way too big a deal out of gifts for years and some of us got really burned out on it, especially as the family continued to grow.
My family, or certain members of it, made way too big a deal out of gifts for years and some of us got really burned out on it, especially as the family continued to grow.
Posted on 12/14/14 at 2:34 pm to Jon Ham
Serious question: how do you deduce that gifts are "expected" at whatever parties you attend?
Do you get a formal invitation that says "gift expected"?
Does the person call you on the phone and remind you to bring a gift?
I ask these questions because I used to be in the same boat as you - constantly frustrated by the seemingly high and insatiable demand for gifts. Then one day it hit me - I don't expect gifts for any party that I might throw, so it's probably the same for others, right?
So we have drastically cut down on our gift giving, and if it offends anyone, they have yet to say anything.
The shift in focus has lead to a shift in attitude that makes the holidays a ton more enjoyable.
Do you get a formal invitation that says "gift expected"?
Does the person call you on the phone and remind you to bring a gift?
I ask these questions because I used to be in the same boat as you - constantly frustrated by the seemingly high and insatiable demand for gifts. Then one day it hit me - I don't expect gifts for any party that I might throw, so it's probably the same for others, right?
So we have drastically cut down on our gift giving, and if it offends anyone, they have yet to say anything.
The shift in focus has lead to a shift in attitude that makes the holidays a ton more enjoyable.
Posted on 12/14/14 at 2:44 pm to Jon Ham
We don't buy adults gifts, never have. We also don't give to cousins, nieces, nephews. Only give to Kids, grandkids.
This post was edited on 12/14/14 at 6:36 pm
Posted on 12/14/14 at 2:47 pm to Jon Ham
I've really condensed it down to family and friends I interact with on an almost daily basis. It's less than 10 people, and I really don't feel obligation to give them gifts. I give them gifts because I want to. I'm not millionaire by any stretch(actually on the other end of the spectrum), but I can usually spare a few hundred overall to spend on others.
The obligation and expectation that develops because of it is a little irking, you shouldn't have to unless you want to. Some feel guilted into buying them, which is an awful misrepresentation of any of these days.
I never ask for anything(unless it's something cheap and random), and anything I do get them comes from my own memory. I've had enough conversations and interactions enough to know what they may like. Only real person I have problems giving things to is my stepfather, because he's really not a possessive type of person(and an Auburn fan
).
To each his own, if it causes you strife, go forth about reassessing it. None of these days should make you feel anything but positive emotions...
The obligation and expectation that develops because of it is a little irking, you shouldn't have to unless you want to. Some feel guilted into buying them, which is an awful misrepresentation of any of these days.
I never ask for anything(unless it's something cheap and random), and anything I do get them comes from my own memory. I've had enough conversations and interactions enough to know what they may like. Only real person I have problems giving things to is my stepfather, because he's really not a possessive type of person(and an Auburn fan
). To each his own, if it causes you strife, go forth about reassessing it. None of these days should make you feel anything but positive emotions...
Posted on 12/14/14 at 2:53 pm to Jon Ham
Agree with OP. Sitting around with other adults opening gifts nobody wants or needs is the most awkward thing in the world.
Posted on 12/14/14 at 3:06 pm to Jon Ham
my favorite thread. Agree completely. My wife returned most of the gifts i've given her, so I just stopped giving her gifts. I've thanked her many times.
Posted on 12/14/14 at 3:12 pm to Jobu93
quote:
I was completely ignorant of two gifts:
1. wedding day gift for my wife
2. a push present. seriously WTF??
She had never heard of the push present either.
Sounds like you did not push hard enough to hit bottom.
Posted on 12/14/14 at 3:23 pm to Jon Ham
I fricking hate christmas shopping.
Posted on 12/14/14 at 3:25 pm to Jobu93
quote:
2. a push present. seriously WTF??
I just found out about this one too.
Horse shite.
Posted on 12/14/14 at 3:28 pm to Jobu93
quote:
I was completely ignorant of two gifts:
1. wedding day gift for my wife
Oh, I gave her a gift, alright
quote:
. a push present. seriously
Dafuq is this shite?
ETA: Googled it.
W
T
F
This post was edited on 12/14/14 at 3:30 pm
Posted on 12/14/14 at 3:40 pm to TbirdSpur2010
quote:
Googled it.
Damn, like the sperm to make the baby was not a good enough gift in the first place?
Posted on 12/14/14 at 3:48 pm to Cheese Grits
RIGHT??!!!??
Posted on 12/14/14 at 5:43 pm to Jon Ham
Too many curmudgeons up in here.
Posted on 12/14/14 at 5:50 pm to CatFan81
God no kidding. Who the frick hates presents? Good lord.
Posted on 12/14/14 at 6:57 pm to Jon Ham
I enjoy getting something for someone in my life that I know they wouldn't/or can't get for themselves that I know they want/need.
I would almost flip this, and say little kids don't need as many gifts.
The life span of a kid-gift is usually very short, especially the junk they get for christmas and birthdays, usually not the case for an adult gift.
You're a scrooge.
I would almost flip this, and say little kids don't need as many gifts.
The life span of a kid-gift is usually very short, especially the junk they get for christmas and birthdays, usually not the case for an adult gift.
You're a scrooge.
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