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For those of you who don't agree with spanking
Posted on 12/9/14 at 8:59 pm
Posted on 12/9/14 at 8:59 pm
I recently listened to Michael berry (radio host) talk to a lady on the radio who was dead set against any kind of corperal punishment for children. She maintained that spanking didn't work to instill discipline, and the most effective way was to talk to a child and explain to them how what they did was wrong and how it effected others. Granted, she was talking about 5-6th graders.
I know there are at least some people here who disagree with spanking or other physical punishment for children for a variety of reasons. Do you still acknowledge that it works? I mean, since it has been the dominant method for child rearing for the better part of at least 5 millennia, surely you can't argue that it doesn't work. If that we're true, then there would have been no way to build civilization.
I know there are at least some people here who disagree with spanking or other physical punishment for children for a variety of reasons. Do you still acknowledge that it works? I mean, since it has been the dominant method for child rearing for the better part of at least 5 millennia, surely you can't argue that it doesn't work. If that we're true, then there would have been no way to build civilization.
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Posted on 12/9/14 at 9:01 pm to cokebottleag
It works in certain situations IMO. But if you're not solid in your discipline before it gets to the point of spanking then it's probably not going to matter much.
Posted on 12/9/14 at 9:07 pm to cokebottleag
I wouldn't spank a kid over 5. Kids over that age really don't give a frick about it, and it just makes them resent you. Instead my parents were creative over my punishments, like getting me up at 4:00 in the morning and run 2 miles, and trim the bushes, and then continue a ridiculous amount of work after school, and feed me shite I hated but was healthy for dinner. Those punishments are worse than being physically beaten, will create less resentment with your kids, and be more effective in the long haul.
Posted on 12/9/14 at 9:23 pm to cokebottleag
Spanking a kid is wrong imo. I use alternative methods and my kids are well behaved for the most part.
Posted on 12/9/14 at 9:26 pm to OMLandshark
My parents used spanking until we were 10 or so, and then my dad would pop us on the head with his Aggie ring, which hurt worse.
It worked on me very well, where as my little brother not so much. Grounding was extremely effective with him though.
I'm not dead set on spanking, I just don't understand the argument that it never works.
It worked on me very well, where as my little brother not so much. Grounding was extremely effective with him though.
I'm not dead set on spanking, I just don't understand the argument that it never works.
Posted on 12/9/14 at 9:29 pm to cokebottleag
I have 4 kids. Spanking worked for the first one. For the second one, spanking only made things worse so we had to use other punishments for him. #3 and #4 are twins and the thing that works most for them is to sit in timeout in a corner and I rarely have to pop their hands. So, in my experience as a parent, there are some times when it is right and effective and others where it isn't. Each child is different and the goal is to teach, educate, love, and mold them. Spanking for the heck of it never works so however it is that you can get through to the child is the correct method of punishment for them.
Posted on 12/9/14 at 9:30 pm to cokebottleag
Spanking works for some kids, others not so much. A parent's job is to decide which forms of discipline work for each of their children and to utilize them effectively.
Spanking worked for my sister, but it just made me more defiant.
Spanking worked for my sister, but it just made me more defiant.
Posted on 12/9/14 at 9:32 pm to Roger Klarvin
quote:
Spanking worked for my sister
Ah yeah?
Posted on 12/9/14 at 9:33 pm to CheeseburgerEddie
Goddammit 
Posted on 12/9/14 at 9:57 pm to Landmass
quote:
so however it is that you can get through to the child is the correct method of punishment for them.
My kid is five months old and I found that spanking did not work at all the first few months (no matter how much or how hard I spanked). The past month and a half though I believe it is starting to work. I am new to this (don't claim to be an expert, and never would) but maybe it just comes down to sticking with one form of punishment. Kids crave consistency.
I am kidding about spanking my five month old.
I always thought I would spank before I had a kid, but now not so sure. I do think it may depend on the kid, but I think it may depend more on the parent (I don't think any parent that doesn't have a firm grasp on their emotional state should ever spank (i.e., I don't think any parent should spank out of anger)). As for the kid, I think if spanking "works" on the kid then there is a pretty good chance that something else may have worked also. Some kids are just more pliable while others are going to constantly push.
Posted on 12/9/14 at 10:54 pm to cokebottleag
I don't disagree with spanking. I disagree with frequent and excessive spanking. I rarely spank my 3 children, but I do on occasion when the situation merits one. I only use my hand and when that become ineffective it will be dropped from my discipline routine. I did it a lot more often with the first kid and one day It struck me that if I had to spank my kid to get my point across then maybe I suck at getting my point across.
All three are very bright (straight a's and all that) and have had no issues at school with discipline or otherwise.
I've only given one spanking this calendar year and it was when my middle son lied about doing something dishonest (taking a toy from his brother and hiding it...I watched him do it) and refused to fess up. I gave him the ultimatum of telling me the truth or getting a spanking. The stubborn son of a gun, took his licks and to this day denies he did anything wrong. (Honestly, I'm impressed with his fortitude and he is the child who is most like me....we would rather die than admit fault).
Spanking is effective and works well when done correctly...but shouldn't be the main method of discipline.
All three are very bright (straight a's and all that) and have had no issues at school with discipline or otherwise.
I've only given one spanking this calendar year and it was when my middle son lied about doing something dishonest (taking a toy from his brother and hiding it...I watched him do it) and refused to fess up. I gave him the ultimatum of telling me the truth or getting a spanking. The stubborn son of a gun, took his licks and to this day denies he did anything wrong. (Honestly, I'm impressed with his fortitude and he is the child who is most like me....we would rather die than admit fault).
Spanking is effective and works well when done correctly...but shouldn't be the main method of discipline.
Posted on 12/9/14 at 11:15 pm to cokebottleag
The threat of my dad spanking me was enough for me. I made the mistake when I was about 7 of telling my mom that it didn't hurt when she spanked me so she went and got my dad who proceeded to wear my arse out. After that all she had to do was threaten to get him.
Posted on 12/9/14 at 11:31 pm to cokebottleag
I don't think any one method is right or wrong.
Posted on 12/10/14 at 5:13 am to cokebottleag
To a point, I mean don't choke a kid out or put'em in the figure 4. But as far as busting their arse if it's needed then yes I'm for it. Now with that there needs to be communication as well they need to know why and explain why what they did was wrong. Now will I spank for a bad grade..no, will I spank for being disrespectful to an adult (within reason) yes. There is a time when either or both methods are justified and as good parents we have to know when to spare the rod or bust ye old arse.
Posted on 12/10/14 at 7:59 am to bdv1974
Against spanking kid totally. Reserve spanking for private times with your wife
Posted on 12/10/14 at 8:09 am to bdv1974
Didn't spank my kids except for a handful of times when they were young and did something dangerous (prolly had to do more with scaring me than needing punishment). Have always been able to reason with them and get my point across with other methods. Always thought spanking taught that violence is an answer. Both kids now over 18 were/are good students and were always smart about avoiding trouble.
This post was edited on 12/10/14 at 8:10 am
Posted on 12/10/14 at 8:45 am to JEAUXBLEAUX
quote:
Against spanking kid totally. Reserve spanking for private times with your wife
Does she use a paddle on you or bare hand?
Posted on 12/10/14 at 9:07 am to CheeseburgerEddie
Posted on 12/10/14 at 9:16 am to cokebottleag
quote:
since it has been the dominant method for child rearing for the better part of at least 5 millennia
For dumb people.
Posted on 12/10/14 at 9:19 am to Hardy_Har
Spanking is only one of the many tools you can use as parents. I spanked my kids when they were young, but I never did it in anger. If me and my SO decided we were going to spank one of the children we would tell them that and send them to their room. They would have to think about the spanking while we made sure we weren't mad. I honestly believe them thinking about the spanking was actually more of a punishment than the actual spanking.
Parents have a lot of ways to discipline and each kid learns differently so spanking should never be the main way of teaching discipline. I have a 21 year old and and 18 year old now and I believe trying to be a good example on how to carry yourself is the best way now.
Parents have a lot of ways to discipline and each kid learns differently so spanking should never be the main way of teaching discipline. I have a 21 year old and and 18 year old now and I believe trying to be a good example on how to carry yourself is the best way now.
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