Edit: I'd pull for the mizzourites today, (because I like Semo), except for ...

... except for the fact that they are fricking yankees and we'd never hear the end of it from their fricking yankee asses.

It's snowing and icing in their fricking yankee state right now. They should be up there freezing their man tits off suffering like all yankees do this time of year.

They introduced the first openly gay player to the world of college football and then, and then they embraced it! Many of their male fans even turning gay and/or experimenting in Sam's honor, as a show of support ... at least that's the rumor.

Then they have Ferguson ... St Louis, it doesn't get anymore fricked-up than that. We all get-along down here ... they don't, up there. Obviously. They have issues.

They have a history of killing Mormons LINK ... and generally speaking, I like Mormons, for the most part. Mormons gave us prepping and freeze-dried foods, Amy Adams, Billy Barty, Butch Cassidy, Danny White and Steve Young and, oh yeah, the freaky-deaky Mormon women ... I mean, why would you wanna slaughter Mormons? (If your flight's ever been snowed-over or stuck-in Salt Lake City and you've been forced to party there on your way to Sun Valley, then you know what I am talking about.)



Missouri ... there are a lot of crack smokers there. Everyone knows it. A lot of domestic violence except ... well, their women beat-up the men in Missouri. Now if there is gonna be household arse whoopins' between man and woman ... well, nevermind. Just sayin' ... Missouri has the highest rate of reported woman-on-man domestic violence in the country. Just sayin'.

Speaking of Missouri ... depending upon who you ask, it either means, "my arse drains muddy water" or "a canoe went up my arse and made muddy water run-out." They were named after a gay Indian tribe of the day that no one has heard of since ... so the whole native American Indian thing may be something they just made up to sound cool. More than likely some indians caught original mizzourite settlers along a creek bed or in the woods doing what they do ... and the name just stuck.

Another thing ... what sort of state doesn't even know how to pronounce its own name? I mean half the people there pronounce it Missouree and the other half pronounces it Missouruh. wtf? Who does that? Southerners don't do that shite. We not only know how to properly pronounce the name of our own states, but we also know how to properly pronounce the names of our other true Southern states ... which Missouri is not.

It's 1904 and the number one game played in Missouri that year was called, ... are you ready for this? ... "Climb a greased pole." ::::::: long pause to give you a moment to actually think about that - take your time ::::::: Okay, now, in 1904 while the rest of us were playing football and baseball ... mizzourites were playing "Climb a greased pole," I am not kidding you. They were climbing greased poles for sport even back then. Beginning to recognize a trend here? Indian name for Missouri is what? ... their favorite game a century later is what? ... They become the first program in the country to produce a what? I mean - well - they ain't Southern my brothers, they ain't Southern.

I would normally pull for the East to beat the West in this game today (edited to reflect proper time and date), or, in this case "upset" the West ... but I just cannot justify doing it for these yankees. Worse yet ... well, have you ever seen the movie Master and Commander? Remember the one guy, Hollom, the lieutenant who was cursed so he finally picked-up a cannon ball and jumped overboard and drowned himself? Remember that part? video Well, there is talk going around that the mizzourites have sort-of, well, sort-of cursed the East like that ... taken the wind out of our mainsails. Brought a pox upon us if you will ... because they are against humanity's will, this thing they embrace and do, the whole muddy water canoe thing. We in the East believe this will be proven to be factual when the divisions are finally realigned, in their proper geographical order, and Mizzou is moved to the West ... just watch how quickly the West will deteriorate in football. You read it here first ... with Missouri comes wicked bad luck. I think Slive and the REC knew that coming-in which is why they stuck them with us, over here in the East.

Hey, they've got a bearded ginger QB that looks like a large evil leprechaun - how screwed-up is that? Put a kelly green tophat on him and have him dance an Irish jig and you'll clearly see what I'm talking about.

I mean, I could go on and on but you get the picture, everyone does. They are the SEC's dirty little secret that everyone realizes exists, but no one wants to openly talk about in public ... LINK Listen, when was the last time your buddies and you mentioned Mizzou in casual conversation or over a beer unless you happen to be playing them that week? See what I mean? Unless it is on this board, Mizzou is persona non grata. We subconsciously, or even intentionally, block them from our subconscious.

Be honest ... is there really anyone, outside of the mizzourite fan base, who is pulling for Mizzou to win today (edited for proper date reference)? I can almost understand the Aubies ... but honestly, I doubt most Aubies want the mizzourites to win today (edited for proper date reference), they're just saying that in public because of the Bama rivalry thing.

Anyways, remember what I warned you of SEC West members ... one day, some day, your day is coming when they will be in your division. You will rue the day ...