Killz's trip to Neyland

Thanks for all of the suggestions, Vol fans! My bro and I had a blast.

I left St. Louis at 2:00 am Central on Saturday morning. I attached my Mizzou flags to the Element and loaded up on coffee.

I was about the only car on the highways until I hit north Nashville, which was perfect because the sun had just risen above the horizon so that everyone could see my Mizzou flags the moment I merged onto I-40.

On I-40 I was flipped off a few times. Mostly, Vol fans gave me thumbs down signals and boos through the car windows. Oddly, there were also a few Kentucky fans on the highway and they all gave me the "go Mizzou" arm pump. It was all in good fun. I laughed each and every time.

I arrived in Knoxville around 11:00 Eastern to meet my brother at the hotel. We arrived to Neyland around 11:30 and began our search for a tailgating spot. I told him to go to the riverfront (Calhouns) but he wanted to drive around and look for Mizzou fans to tailgate with.

We found ourselves driving down Cumberland away from the stadium. We honked at all Mizzou fans we saw on the sidewalks and yelled "MIZ" out the windows. We heard several boos from the oranges.

I said something like, "I've heard there is tailgating at the fraternities but I'd rather not tailgate with them. Personally I want to be closer to the stadium." About the moment I said that, we looked to our left and noticed a small park with both Mizzou and Vol tents setup. My bro said, "There's some Mizzou fans. I wonder if we can find a parking spot."

Sure enough, we immediately found a parking spot on the street surrounding the park. I was like, "Good job! This looks like a sweet place." But then I realized that i was too focused on the park to notice the fraternity houses surrounding it. I said, "frick, dude...this is Fraternity Park."

We got out of the car and walked over to the Mizzou fans. They were quite a bit younger than us but seemed like a pretty level headed crew of about 20 people. We decided to setup our spot next to them.

The time passed slowly. We grilled pre-smoked ribs, brats, and burgers. I gave Mizzou and Vol fans shots of my Arkansas shine. Everyone, both Mizzou and Vol fans, were very cordial with each other. Plus, it was a beautiful day. Couldn't ask for a better November day.

At around 5:00 pm, we began to load our grill and tailgating stuff into the car. The park was becoming much more crowded. As it became darker, more people began to flood into the park and the ladies seemed to be wearing less and less.

Frat Park had suddenly turned into a giant drunken party and these college kids (mostly the girls) were certainly DTF. My bro and I just stood back with a few other Mizzou fans, drank our beers, and watched this social experiment play out. It was funny. I commented to someone that if every college guy in this park doesn't get laid, the guys who don't must be retarded. These girls were in heat!

Frat DJs came out of the woodwork and turned Fraternity Park into a giant dance party. This started around 6:00 pm. Earlier in the day I had wanted to leave Frat Park and go to the Calhouns area, but at this point Frat Park was booming and I was like, "frick it. Let's stay. This is fun to watch." We sorta felt like Will Ferrell's crew in the movie "Old School". That's about the perfect comparison. From our vantage point from the fire at the rocks in the middle of Frat Park, we were definitely reliving our college days vicariously thru these UT horndogs.

I briefly looked over at a big screen TV next to the fire pit and noticed the Arkansas/Ole Miss score. I said, "Holy shite! Look at that score! frick!"

At about 6:30 pm, we decided that before we took off to Neyland we'd walk by the frat houses. At the first frat house off Cumberland there was a coked up dancing Santa bobbing to old school Snoop Dogg and Dre. I got my picture with the guy we nicknamed "UT Frat Santa".

We took our final piss in the evergreen trees next to the rec center because apparently they locked their doors around 4 or 5 pm. We started walking to Neyland.

"Dude, we need to get our picture in front of the Astro Dobbs portrait on the giant white washed rock." A few drunken UT cuties were more than happy to take a few pics. My brother said something like, "They forgot to paint his eyebrows on the rock." One of the girls drunkenly said, "He has an eyebrow disease. He can't help it." We laughed and thanked them for the photo. They stumbled off toward Frat Park and yelled back to us, "Welcome to Neyland!"

We approached Neyland and ordered a couple of grilled cheeseburgers from a Vol sponsored area just in front of the stadium. We took our picture next to the statue holding a firey torch. The first douchebag we met the entire day was standing at this torch with his wife...and he happened to be a Mizzou fan.

He and his wife were a good looking couple. My brother asked his wife if she would take a picture of us in front of the statue. She was happy to do it.

I was talking to her husband, a guy who referred to himself as Jesus (HeyZeus), when all of the sudden he looks at my brother and says, "Dude...do you know what a 215 pound Engineer would do to your face?" My brother looked at Jesus a bit confused and said, "Huh?"

I clinched my fists tight ready for Jesus to do something stupid. Jesus said, "I'm a 215 pound Engineer that would wipe the glass with your face." I said, "Jesus...you realize we're Mizzou fans, right? You're starting shite with Mizzou fans. You won't wipe my brother's face with the glass. You don't want this fight. Calm down, bro."

My brother was like, "What the hell are you talking about, dude?" I gave my brother the shut-the-frick-up look while I handled the situation. He shut up.

"Jesus, my bro just asked your wife to take our picture. No reason to start shite with fellow Mizzou fans. We're supposed to be on the same page, bruh," and I slapped Jesus' back rather hard to drive in the point.

Then, Jesus wrapped his arm around me and said, "I'm just frickin' around. Look at these tickets! My wife and I just paid $75 dollars for these. I think we have prime seats. These are good seats, right?"

I looked at his tickets and noticed that they were sitting in nosebleed FF. I laughed inside but kept a straight face. "These are great seats, right?"

I said, "Jesus...you and your wife will have a great view of the entire field," and then I bid them farewell and my brother and I walked away laughing.

We entered the stadium at Gate 2 and proceeded to our seats in section C row 25 - lower bowl. We were between the 40 and 50 yard line (this is important info that will matter towards the end of the story). Absolutely perfect view. I laughed again and said to my brother, "I bet that douchebag Jesus will be pissed when he realizes he and his wife's seats are nosebleed."

We took in the experience. The UT band was awesome. The stadium was huge.

My bro and I were pumped! Mizzou fans were amped. You could sense that this would be a crazy game.



[Pics and more story to come soon...]