Welcome to Baton Rouge, Gumps.Tailgating Information Inside.

I went to a Bama game and a Jerry Springer show broke out.
Strangely, I went to a Jerry Springer show and a Bama game broke out.

Weird, I know.


Anyhow, this isn't Tuscaloosa so Welcome to Baton Rouge.

Report to campus at 9 am and please get in the proper line (1-10) and you will be directed to your tailgate. Please walk in an orderly fashion. No nose-picking or arse itching, remember, this isn't Alabama. Your XXXXL t-shirt will be given to you at your tailgate when you arrive. Lines are as follow:

1. Tea baggers, Tea-bagger trainees and their families.
2. Homes Without Wheels support group members
3. Pregnant Gump strippers.
4. Assorted Gumps with Bear tattoos on their face and neck.
5. Gumps that riot at all you can eat buffets.
6. Tree-poisoners and Celebrity Gump radio- callers.
7. Crowd diving Moms and anybody with a family member named Krimson.
8. Shooters and stabbers. Stabbers and shooters. Any combination thereof.
9. Hee Haw rejects and those married to a family member.
10. All others.



Welcome. Our dogs have been spayed so you're good. Have a great time. Do not be afraid of the balloons hurling towards you, they will keep you cool. Or maybe warm. Either way...Here's to a safe and fun trip before you thankfully GTFO not a second too fast.