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Alabama v. West Virginia: Trashier fanbase?
Posted on 8/27/14 at 10:16 am
Posted on 8/27/14 at 10:16 am
Over the years, the college football world has been inundated with white trash horror stories involving these two fanbases, more frequently than any other schools in America.
Whether they're burning couches, poisoning trees, teabagging, defecating in stadium seats, poisoning fastfood, being racist, assaulting fans, murdering family members, embracing crippling obesity, committing beastiality--you get the picture, the beat goes on and on--these two fanbases have truly seemed to embrace 'the Deliverance guide to life.' To the untrained eye, Alabama fans and West Virginia fans appear to be indistinguishable, one in the same.
But, that's why I've turned to the expert opinion of the rant. Many of you, representing various SEC schools (LSU, Georgia, Mississippi State, Auburn, etc) have had the pleasure of interacting with both of these fanbases firsthand. In your experiences, what were some of the subtle nuances you've recognized between Alabama and West Virginia fans when it comes to being trashy?
Thank you for your input and God Bless.
Whether they're burning couches, poisoning trees, teabagging, defecating in stadium seats, poisoning fastfood, being racist, assaulting fans, murdering family members, embracing crippling obesity, committing beastiality--you get the picture, the beat goes on and on--these two fanbases have truly seemed to embrace 'the Deliverance guide to life.' To the untrained eye, Alabama fans and West Virginia fans appear to be indistinguishable, one in the same.
But, that's why I've turned to the expert opinion of the rant. Many of you, representing various SEC schools (LSU, Georgia, Mississippi State, Auburn, etc) have had the pleasure of interacting with both of these fanbases firsthand. In your experiences, what were some of the subtle nuances you've recognized between Alabama and West Virginia fans when it comes to being trashy?
Thank you for your input and God Bless.
36
Posted on 8/27/14 at 10:17 am to Mizzou to my Lou
Nothing can top West Virginia when it comes to trashy.
Posted on 8/27/14 at 10:17 am to Mizzou to my Lou
Posted on 8/27/14 at 10:17 am to Mizzou to my Lou
As a whole, WVU by a landslide.
Bama's nuts are more extreme, but there are some decent ones to be found if you look hard enough.
Bama's nuts are more extreme, but there are some decent ones to be found if you look hard enough.
Posted on 8/27/14 at 10:17 am to Eric Nies Grind Time
quote:
Nothing can top West Virginia when it comes to trashy.
CHALLENGE!!
Posted on 8/27/14 at 10:20 am to Mizzou to my Lou
Here is an old post from a MSU message board about visiting West Virginia. Long but funny.
Over the years, Ive been one of the more vocal critics of the LSU fanbase. Corndogs, funnel cakes, carnival workers, slashed tires, raped daughters, 80 year old women showing their tits, three-ways under tailgate tents. Youve heard it all before. And let me say, Ive traveled to every SEC stadium save Fayetteville, so I consider myself fairly well-versed on the intricacies of college fanbases. And until this past weekend, I have always placed the folks at LSU atop the steaming trash heap.
But, alas, I have gone to Morgantown and I have seen something far worse. Something so terrible that you cant really make fun of it without feeling like youre picking on Corky from Life Goes On. And I say this with a straight face: Thank God for classy people like LSU fans. And so, in this post, I will try to refrain from hyperbole. I want you, the sixpack reader, to value the gravity with which I speak. And so, I will relate my experience to you as accurately as is possible.
Have you ever stood in line for tickets to an eagerly anticipated Bubba Sparxxx concert? Me neither. But Im quite sure I just experienced something very similar. People often jokingly say things like, Hey, going to West Virginia are you? Bet youll see a lot of missing teeth. Ha ha. Well, let me tell you. Teeth are the least of my worries after a weekend in Morgantown. I think the discussion needs to shift to missing chromosomes. Seriously.
Some quick percentages based on my observations: Fans above age 15 without a tattoo: 12%. Fans below age 15 without a tattoo: 65%. Fans with the equivalent of a bachelors degree from MSU: 3%. Fans born into wedlock: 36%. Men with a goatee: 84%. Women with a goatee: 4%. Black people: -8%. Hooded sweatshirts: 97%. Wearing khakis or slacks: 1%. Ever worn khakis or slacks: 9%. Tongue studs: 45%. Pet anaconda, iguana, or bobcat: 68%.
There were some West Virginia fans sitting in the row behind me who were probably leaving the game to go work the evening shift at the wastewater plant who were commenting on two MSU fans sitting a couple of rows below. Mind you, most of the MSU fans were dressed in normal gameday attire. One turns to the other and says, Man, those MSU fans sure do dress all snobby for football games. Buncha stuckup pricks.
You may be thinking hillbillies, yokels, rednecks, etc. But thats not it at all. Thats what makes this group so tough to pinpoint, so tough to describe in QWERTY. It was straight-up factory trash minus the factories. It was like if Kid Rock, Courtney Love, and Lil Kim hooked up and had a retard child who was a Cleveland Browns fan. Whoever said this was the WWE crowd, you nailed it. Every gal had a gut, and every dude had 5-20 pubes dangling from his upper lip. Showers, who needs em? Baggy jeans? Check. 2002 Adidas cross-trainers? Check. Haircut 15 months ago? Check. Wallet chain? Check. 80 pounds of yuengling hanging off your midsection? Check. arse crack? Check. Fatass girlfriend wearing West ****** Virgina t-shirt and a rhinestone belt I think but I couldnt see it because her backfat was squeezed out and draped on top of it? Check.
Walking maroon-clad through the Pit, which was WVUs answer to the Junction, except that it was in a huge, disgusting parking lot felt about as safe as walking through downtown Mogadishu passing out Pat Buchanan for President handbills. People were pissing in a more public, blatant, disgusting, anatomical way than anything youve ever seen at Mardi Gras. Walk through the Junction and you might hear Boys of Summer or Dixieland Delight maybe even something as risqu as Back in Black. Prior to my trip to Morgantown, I thought John Denvers Country Roads would be as overplayed as Rocky Top in Knoxville. But no. Blaring from every vehicle in the Pit was Death Metal, or ho-slapping gangsta rap if you got lucky
Ill also say this. In all my visits to college campuses, Ive always kept an eye out for talent. Some places are flourishing with talent (Ole Miss). Others are a little behind the curve (Tulane). Some have the talent but that talent comes with STDs (LSU). But suffice it to say, every college campus Ive been to is teaming with talent relative to the rest of society. General rule of thumb, right? 18-22 year olds in their prime trying to flaunt it. Not in Morgantown. I kept an eye out, and again, I am NOT overstating this. I did not see one female that I would rate higher than a 3.5. Dead serious. Not a single one. And for reference, Leigh Anne is at least a 6 on my scale. There was this one chick at the Texas Roadhouse Steak place after the game that I saw going to into the bathroom that I would rate a 6.5, but I cant count her as part of the WVU faithful.
Maybe this explains some of the mystery surrounding the man that is Doc Foglesong. After having visited his alma mater, I really appreciate the effort he puts forth on gameday. His jorts and knee-high maroon and white socks look damned good compared to what hes used to.
So heres to you Moutaineers. You did something I thought was impossible. You made Baton Rouge look like Buckingham Palace.
Over the years, Ive been one of the more vocal critics of the LSU fanbase. Corndogs, funnel cakes, carnival workers, slashed tires, raped daughters, 80 year old women showing their tits, three-ways under tailgate tents. Youve heard it all before. And let me say, Ive traveled to every SEC stadium save Fayetteville, so I consider myself fairly well-versed on the intricacies of college fanbases. And until this past weekend, I have always placed the folks at LSU atop the steaming trash heap.
But, alas, I have gone to Morgantown and I have seen something far worse. Something so terrible that you cant really make fun of it without feeling like youre picking on Corky from Life Goes On. And I say this with a straight face: Thank God for classy people like LSU fans. And so, in this post, I will try to refrain from hyperbole. I want you, the sixpack reader, to value the gravity with which I speak. And so, I will relate my experience to you as accurately as is possible.
Have you ever stood in line for tickets to an eagerly anticipated Bubba Sparxxx concert? Me neither. But Im quite sure I just experienced something very similar. People often jokingly say things like, Hey, going to West Virginia are you? Bet youll see a lot of missing teeth. Ha ha. Well, let me tell you. Teeth are the least of my worries after a weekend in Morgantown. I think the discussion needs to shift to missing chromosomes. Seriously.
Some quick percentages based on my observations: Fans above age 15 without a tattoo: 12%. Fans below age 15 without a tattoo: 65%. Fans with the equivalent of a bachelors degree from MSU: 3%. Fans born into wedlock: 36%. Men with a goatee: 84%. Women with a goatee: 4%. Black people: -8%. Hooded sweatshirts: 97%. Wearing khakis or slacks: 1%. Ever worn khakis or slacks: 9%. Tongue studs: 45%. Pet anaconda, iguana, or bobcat: 68%.
There were some West Virginia fans sitting in the row behind me who were probably leaving the game to go work the evening shift at the wastewater plant who were commenting on two MSU fans sitting a couple of rows below. Mind you, most of the MSU fans were dressed in normal gameday attire. One turns to the other and says, Man, those MSU fans sure do dress all snobby for football games. Buncha stuckup pricks.
You may be thinking hillbillies, yokels, rednecks, etc. But thats not it at all. Thats what makes this group so tough to pinpoint, so tough to describe in QWERTY. It was straight-up factory trash minus the factories. It was like if Kid Rock, Courtney Love, and Lil Kim hooked up and had a retard child who was a Cleveland Browns fan. Whoever said this was the WWE crowd, you nailed it. Every gal had a gut, and every dude had 5-20 pubes dangling from his upper lip. Showers, who needs em? Baggy jeans? Check. 2002 Adidas cross-trainers? Check. Haircut 15 months ago? Check. Wallet chain? Check. 80 pounds of yuengling hanging off your midsection? Check. arse crack? Check. Fatass girlfriend wearing West ****** Virgina t-shirt and a rhinestone belt I think but I couldnt see it because her backfat was squeezed out and draped on top of it? Check.
Walking maroon-clad through the Pit, which was WVUs answer to the Junction, except that it was in a huge, disgusting parking lot felt about as safe as walking through downtown Mogadishu passing out Pat Buchanan for President handbills. People were pissing in a more public, blatant, disgusting, anatomical way than anything youve ever seen at Mardi Gras. Walk through the Junction and you might hear Boys of Summer or Dixieland Delight maybe even something as risqu as Back in Black. Prior to my trip to Morgantown, I thought John Denvers Country Roads would be as overplayed as Rocky Top in Knoxville. But no. Blaring from every vehicle in the Pit was Death Metal, or ho-slapping gangsta rap if you got lucky
Ill also say this. In all my visits to college campuses, Ive always kept an eye out for talent. Some places are flourishing with talent (Ole Miss). Others are a little behind the curve (Tulane). Some have the talent but that talent comes with STDs (LSU). But suffice it to say, every college campus Ive been to is teaming with talent relative to the rest of society. General rule of thumb, right? 18-22 year olds in their prime trying to flaunt it. Not in Morgantown. I kept an eye out, and again, I am NOT overstating this. I did not see one female that I would rate higher than a 3.5. Dead serious. Not a single one. And for reference, Leigh Anne is at least a 6 on my scale. There was this one chick at the Texas Roadhouse Steak place after the game that I saw going to into the bathroom that I would rate a 6.5, but I cant count her as part of the WVU faithful.
Maybe this explains some of the mystery surrounding the man that is Doc Foglesong. After having visited his alma mater, I really appreciate the effort he puts forth on gameday. His jorts and knee-high maroon and white socks look damned good compared to what hes used to.
So heres to you Moutaineers. You did something I thought was impossible. You made Baton Rouge look like Buckingham Palace.
Posted on 8/27/14 at 10:21 am to Mizzou to my Lou
Out of the 571 posts you've made, at least 400 have to be about Bama. Seems you have a nice little obsession going 
That being said, I don't get why people make these topics. It's an SEC board. Alabama has committed like 40 acts of 1st degree arson in the past 5 years. And everyone here obviously hates Bama because well....Bama. So the answer will be Bama every single time, regardless of the comparison/question.
That being said, I don't get why people make these topics. It's an SEC board. Alabama has committed like 40 acts of 1st degree arson in the past 5 years. And everyone here obviously hates Bama because well....Bama. So the answer will be Bama every single time, regardless of the comparison/question.
Posted on 8/27/14 at 10:23 am to FourThreeForty
quote:
And everyone here obviously hates Bama because well....Bama. So the answer will be Bama every single time, regardless of the comparison/question.
You might be surprised in this thread.
Posted on 8/27/14 at 10:23 am to Mizzou to my Lou
Actual Bama fans at games are just fine, it's the trailer park walmart shopping frontrunning dregs that give them a bad name. WV is 10 times trashier at least.
Posted on 8/27/14 at 10:25 am to Mizzou to my Lou
WVU by far. Not even remotely close.
Posted on 8/27/14 at 10:31 am to Crowknowsbest
As the Auburn fan said, Bama has the more extreme outliers, but if you just take the fan bases in whole, West Virginia is worse by a wide margin.
Posted on 8/27/14 at 10:32 am to NorthGwinnettTiger
quote:
Bama's nuts are more extreme, but there are some decent ones to be found if you look hard enough.
Interesting take, that appears to be holding true judged on the responses thus far. WVU has more overall trashiness, but trashy Bama fans trash harder?
This post was edited on 8/27/14 at 10:39 am
Posted on 8/27/14 at 10:32 am to Crowknowsbest
quote:
WVU by far. Not even remotely close.
This might have been true at one time Crow, but the town/institution has enacted painstaking measures in "pouring out the sugar" for the visitors.
I was up in WVU early last year and the campus is amazing Mr. Puskar left that place some serious coinage.
It's a class #3 felony to burn a couch there now.
This post was edited on 8/27/14 at 10:33 am
Posted on 8/27/14 at 10:39 am to BarberitosDawg
quote:
It's a class #3 felony to burn a couch there now.
This statement should tell you all you need to know about the mountaineer fanbase. Embarassed as hell to have been born in that shitty state.
Posted on 8/27/14 at 10:40 am to Mizzou to my Lou
Posted on 8/27/14 at 10:43 am to NorthGwinnettTiger
quote:
Embarassed as hell to have been born in that shitty state.
Born there too but never lived a day there.
What part?
It's beautiful country but damn, every time I go back the meth has taken over more of the state. It's sad.
Posted on 8/27/14 at 10:43 am to Mizzou to my Lou
quote:
Alabama v. West Virginia: Trashier fanbase?
Alabama
Posted on 8/27/14 at 10:44 am to roadGator
quote:
What part?
Charleston. Parents escaped when I was 3.
This post was edited on 8/27/14 at 10:45 am
Posted on 8/27/14 at 10:44 am to Mizzou to my Lou
WVU is downright terrible. I've never felt threatened at UA, but did when I went to the game at WVU. I got out of there with a quickness.
I'll take a handful of ignorant fans that take their football too seriously over one that has no genetic variation all day.
Moral of the story, the worst UA fans aren't at the games usually, while WVU is made up of predominately bad fans.
I'll take a handful of ignorant fans that take their football too seriously over one that has no genetic variation all day.
Moral of the story, the worst UA fans aren't at the games usually, while WVU is made up of predominately bad fans.
This post was edited on 8/27/14 at 10:49 am
Posted on 8/27/14 at 10:44 am to NorthGwinnettTiger
Well, at least your hospital was probably called a hospital. Mine was called a sanitarium.
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