Started By
Message
I'm an a-hole (advice needed)
Posted on 8/20/14 at 3:58 pm
Posted on 8/20/14 at 3:58 pm
I'm a huge a-hole. For a long time that's one thing my wife said she liked about me. I was never really one to her, but she enjoyed what I could dish out to others in snarky, smartass ways.
But after 3 1/2 years, I can tell it's wearing on her because I have trouble taking shite seriously, and we can't have a conversation (or argument) without my mouth REALLY getting in the way. I just have to take unnecessary shots at her or the situation that does dick to help.
I guess it's veiled assholeness with enough humor mixed in that I feel I should be able to get away with saying anything I want. I've been able, my whole life, to get away with way more than what normal people should, and I think it's really fricked me up.
Some of it is very minor, for example - "Hey wife, I opened the shower today and there was a rat on the floor." She'd freak out and say "Really?!?" and naturally I'd reply with "Haha No." But holy crap is that rubbing her wrong now.
I CANT TURN IT OFF!
She has trouble believing anything I say now, and I don't know what to do. I just can't keep my mouth shut even when I know I'm about to make things way worse.
We have 3 brilliant kids, 2 are step-sons, and a 3 year old son.
The middle kid is following along my path, and that worries me too. But, I figure if I can find a way to fix myself, then maybe I can help him.
Any advice? Most here are probably like me, but sometimes an a-hole can give another some good advice.
TL:DR
I'm a jerk. How can I not be?
But after 3 1/2 years, I can tell it's wearing on her because I have trouble taking shite seriously, and we can't have a conversation (or argument) without my mouth REALLY getting in the way. I just have to take unnecessary shots at her or the situation that does dick to help.
I guess it's veiled assholeness with enough humor mixed in that I feel I should be able to get away with saying anything I want. I've been able, my whole life, to get away with way more than what normal people should, and I think it's really fricked me up.
Some of it is very minor, for example - "Hey wife, I opened the shower today and there was a rat on the floor." She'd freak out and say "Really?!?" and naturally I'd reply with "Haha No." But holy crap is that rubbing her wrong now.
I CANT TURN IT OFF!
She has trouble believing anything I say now, and I don't know what to do. I just can't keep my mouth shut even when I know I'm about to make things way worse.
We have 3 brilliant kids, 2 are step-sons, and a 3 year old son.
The middle kid is following along my path, and that worries me too. But, I figure if I can find a way to fix myself, then maybe I can help him.
Any advice? Most here are probably like me, but sometimes an a-hole can give another some good advice.
TL:DR
I'm a jerk. How can I not be?
15
Posted on 8/20/14 at 3:59 pm to El Guapo21
Im a huge dick too. I find Im friendlier when on drugs. Give that a shot.
Posted on 8/20/14 at 4:00 pm to El Guapo21
quote:
I'm a jerk. How can I not be?
grow up.
Posted on 8/20/14 at 4:00 pm to El Guapo21
do the snarky bullshite but make the final product positive. It is hard to be around consistently negative peeps for a long period of time.
Posted on 8/20/14 at 4:00 pm to El Guapo21
what trey said, drugs
Posted on 8/20/14 at 4:00 pm to El Guapo21
quote:
How can I not be?
Think before you speak.
Posted on 8/20/14 at 4:00 pm to TreyAnastasio
quote:
I find Im friendlier when on drugs. Give that a shot.
He's got kids Trey
To the OP: it's easy, think before you open your mouth. And don't be a douche canoe.
Posted on 8/20/14 at 4:01 pm to AUnite
quote:
He's got kids Trey
I didnt say give the drugs to them too.
Posted on 8/20/14 at 4:02 pm to TreyAnastasio
quote:
I didnt say give the drugs to them too.
But doing drugs will encourage the kids to do them. Probably not a good idea.
Posted on 8/20/14 at 4:03 pm to AUnite
Only if they know you're doing drugs
And really, whats the difference between molly and prescription mood altering drugs?
And really, whats the difference between molly and prescription mood altering drugs?
Posted on 8/20/14 at 4:05 pm to TreyAnastasio
molly is a terrible idea for that strategy, gotta be something else.
Posted on 8/20/14 at 4:06 pm to CheeseburgerEddie
Doing coke all day gives me a runny nose 
Posted on 8/20/14 at 4:06 pm to TreyAnastasio
quote:
whats the difference between molly and prescription mood altering drugs?
One is legal and one is not?
Prescription drugs might help him. They helped my dad. My mom refuses to admit she needs medication.
Posted on 8/20/14 at 4:07 pm to TreyAnastasio
i think some painkillers would be his best option
Posted on 8/20/14 at 4:08 pm to CheeseburgerEddie
Most times I do not think before I speak. The smartass just flows from my mouth like a flood.
And I'd love to just " Grow up", but that shite is hard to just do. At least it is for me.
And I'd love to just " Grow up", but that shite is hard to just do. At least it is for me.
Posted on 8/20/14 at 4:09 pm to El Guapo21
Allow your wife to slap you in the face every time you say something that bothers her.
It's like the rubber band snap trick, but someone else is pulling back the rubber band.
It's like the rubber band snap trick, but someone else is pulling back the rubber band.
Posted on 8/20/14 at 4:10 pm to El Guapo21
There's nothing you can do. Personality is mostly something you're born with, like your height.
Posted on 8/20/14 at 4:11 pm to El Guapo21
probably shouldnt have married her.
but I see that you guys didnt really plan the marriage. why don't you tell her what you just typed out to us, and really make an effort to change. maybe include more funny stuff, than sarcastic quips.
quote:
3 1/2 years
quote:
3 year old son.
but I see that you guys didnt really plan the marriage. why don't you tell her what you just typed out to us, and really make an effort to change. maybe include more funny stuff, than sarcastic quips.
Posted on 8/20/14 at 4:12 pm to El Guapo21
quote:
Some of it is very minor, for example - "Hey wife, I opened the shower today and there was a rat on the floor." She'd freak out and say "Really?!?" and naturally I'd reply with "Haha No." But holy crap is that rubbing her wrong now.
First of all, don't do things like this. It's not funny at all, just stupid. Wit and sarcasm can be appreciated, but juvenile pranks like that are pointless.
Posted on 8/20/14 at 4:13 pm to El Guapo21
quote:
I'm a jerk. How can I not be?
I had this same problem regarding jokes with my ex -- I just couldn't stop myself or I kept finding humor in things that shouldn't have been funny. It was literally out of my power and I think I just sort of coped with that by knowing that it might not be possible to change.
I guess in the end you just have to be more conscious. I would also sit down and talk to her about it, that you legitimately can't help it sometimes and it'll take time for you to change that aspect about you.
Always communicate is what I learned from my last relationship, no idea if it's a good approach or not, but I'mma give it a shot in my next.
Page 1 of 2
Popular
Back to top
Follow SECRant for SEC Football News