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Adoption
Posted on 5/29/14 at 9:49 pm
Posted on 5/29/14 at 9:49 pm
My wife and I decided a few years back that we were done having babies naturally. My wife had bad pregnancies and our youngest was very rough on us at about a year. We decided to get my snip snip.
We had always talked about adoption as an option, but we agreed to wait till we were debt free. After a new job and a great raise, being debt free (sans mortgage) will be a reality in a month or two and she officially has the bug. I'm totally on board with the whole thing but after looking up costs, I'm flabbergasted. Most that I see are no less than $15000. That's obviously a hurdle we'll have to clear at a later date.
If anybody has gone through this process, any recommendations as far as doing agencies vs fostering vs foreign? We're reading all over the place, but I always take in people's opinions better then canned articles.
We had always talked about adoption as an option, but we agreed to wait till we were debt free. After a new job and a great raise, being debt free (sans mortgage) will be a reality in a month or two and she officially has the bug. I'm totally on board with the whole thing but after looking up costs, I'm flabbergasted. Most that I see are no less than $15000. That's obviously a hurdle we'll have to clear at a later date.
If anybody has gone through this process, any recommendations as far as doing agencies vs fostering vs foreign? We're reading all over the place, but I always take in people's opinions better then canned articles.
8
Posted on 5/29/14 at 10:00 pm to 3nOut
Not to sound crass, if you are willing to go international there are places in the world where its only a slight exaggeration to say you show up, pick a kid and head home. Family friends of ours adopted from Romania and said it basically feels like kidnapping due to so few hoops to jump through.
This post was edited on 5/29/14 at 10:01 pm
Posted on 5/29/14 at 10:02 pm to 3nOut
Godspeed. I have no advice.
Posted on 5/29/14 at 10:03 pm to Roger Klarvin
Yeah. I struggle with that. There are a 1000 kids in my adjacent counties that could be adopted.
My church has a pipeline of kids coming from Ethiopia and Rwanda going to a bunch or rich white folk. God bless them for adopting, but man.... Lot of kids hurting for the same love in Central Texas.
My church has a pipeline of kids coming from Ethiopia and Rwanda going to a bunch or rich white folk. God bless them for adopting, but man.... Lot of kids hurting for the same love in Central Texas.
Posted on 5/29/14 at 10:04 pm to 3nOut
Eastern Europe is my suggestion. Plenty of kids that need homes.
Posted on 5/29/14 at 10:11 pm to 3nOut
Haven't gone through the process myself, but two of my siblings are adopted.
Much respect to y'all
Much respect to y'all
Posted on 5/29/14 at 10:16 pm to 3nOut
Our poor adoption system just makes foreign adoption look so attractive.
Posted on 5/29/14 at 10:20 pm to Roger Klarvin
It does. 15k+ to help a life just seems petty at best.
Our church also has a sister church in Ukraine that could open up some opportunities. Don't know with their unrest if that's an option right now.
Our church also has a sister church in Ukraine that could open up some opportunities. Don't know with their unrest if that's an option right now.
Posted on 5/29/14 at 10:21 pm to 3nOut
I wouldnt wish Eastern Europe on any child. In many places it is every bit as bad as sub-saharan Africa.
Posted on 5/29/14 at 10:24 pm to 3nOut
quote:
Ukraine
If you have the option, go that route. I've seen the orphanages there first hand. They need help, but they're not as sketchy as many of your smaller countries.
Posted on 5/29/14 at 10:38 pm to TbirdSpur2010
Much respect to your parents as well
Posted on 5/29/14 at 10:41 pm to Rebelgator
A good friend of mine adopted Eastern European. Great kids. One has a learning disability, but still, great kids.
Posted on 5/29/14 at 10:57 pm to 3nOut
Both of my children were adopted through Catholic Charities. You are looking at something around 20k through them but there are adoption tax breaks that help offset the cost. A plus of adopting domestically is the child will have gone through our health system which is a big plus. Plus we were able to get health records for both sets of birth parents. There are a lot of options out there, so you should find a good fit for your family. Best of luck!
Posted on 5/29/14 at 11:00 pm to 3nOut
You ever consider fostering kids first? I've known a few folks to adopt kids they fostered that eventually became wards of the state.
Posted on 5/29/14 at 11:06 pm to BluegrassBelle
Yes we have belle. I've leaned that way moreso because I'm a cheapskate and one of my better friends worked for CPS and we had a lot of talks about it.
Out hesitance there is having kids we foster go back to the state or parents. And getting kids that have issues that we don't know how to deal with. That's not an excuse, just a real fear.
Out hesitance there is having kids we foster go back to the state or parents. And getting kids that have issues that we don't know how to deal with. That's not an excuse, just a real fear.
This post was edited on 5/29/14 at 11:09 pm
Posted on 5/29/14 at 11:07 pm to Porkmeister
quote:
Plus we were able to get health records for both sets of birth parents.
A huge consideration. My father was adopted, and I really wish we had this for him.
Posted on 5/29/14 at 11:10 pm to 3nOut
Adopted my first 2 kids in Russia in1998. Adopted my daughter @ 6 months in Vladimir and went back over 8 months later and adopted my son in Chita, Siberia when he was 3 1/2 yr. Spent roughly 62k. Fantastic kids!
It's all about the agency.... I chose the one with the highest fee because this isn't like car shopping. It can be a great experience or very painful if the agency doesn't have a good network in the country you adopt from. We used European Adoption Consultants out of Ohio. They had a small staff living on Moscow and had the system down. It was pretty frightening flying into Moscow with 20k strapped to my waist in a money belt and going through customs!
It's all about the agency.... I chose the one with the highest fee because this isn't like car shopping. It can be a great experience or very painful if the agency doesn't have a good network in the country you adopt from. We used European Adoption Consultants out of Ohio. They had a small staff living on Moscow and had the system down. It was pretty frightening flying into Moscow with 20k strapped to my waist in a money belt and going through customs!
Posted on 5/29/14 at 11:15 pm to Chum Bucket
quote:
It was pretty frightening flying into Moscow with 20k strapped to my waist in a money belt and going through customs!
So what's the deal? You can't just tell the dudes at customs that you're coming in to take a kid from their shitty country through valid means?
Or is it like a payoff the local authorities type situation?
Posted on 5/29/14 at 11:41 pm to 3nOut
I have two Chinese cousins. Adoption was great for my extended family.
Posted on 5/30/14 at 7:01 am to Roger Klarvin
quote:
Our poor adoption system just makes foreign adoption look so attractive
Just no!!!! Each state has different adoption rules; some are just asinine (can you hear me Georgia) and some are fantastic (yes Florida I'm talking to you).
10 yrs ago my wife & I adopted a 9 yr old Florida boy. The process for the state of Florida was pretty easy & the total cost was $5 and that was for the fingerprinting to do the background check. I called out GA above because a friend of mine & her husband adopted 2 kids in GA and it cost them in excess of $30K and that's just friggin stupid. The object is the to get these kids out of the "system" and into good homes and this will save the state major $$$. One of the perks for adopting in FL is the state will pay my son's college tuition to any Florida university/Votech school. We pick up the books & board.
If you and your wife do adopt, PLEASE adopt an American kid; there are 1000s out there that need a good home.
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