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On the Fulmer Cup rankings
Posted on 3/18/14 at 8:47 am
Posted on 3/18/14 at 8:47 am
How many more points is theft by deception than possession of weed?
I thought we would go up after last weekend but it looks like UGA jumped us big time.
I thought we would go up after last weekend but it looks like UGA jumped us big time.
3
Posted on 3/18/14 at 8:49 am to outlawjoseywales
weed is a plant
Posted on 3/18/14 at 9:24 am to sugatowng
To be eligible for Fulmer Cup points, a player must, a) be on the program's roster (no alumni or verbal commitments,) and, b) commit the offense(s) during the off-season.
Points are assessed based upon the severity of each alleged offense, on a scale of 1 (for "drankin', suspended license, and assorted petty misdemeanors") to 5 for murder, and we assume, sassing Aunt Stabby. Points are accumulative, and thus a player who steals a pig (petit theft, 1 point) then a car (3 points,) sexually assualts said pig (beastiality, 4 points) before drunkingly wrecking the stolen vehicle (DUI, 2 points) would be assessed a total of 10 points. In said hypothetical scenario, it is assumed the player would cover the bond by hocking his 2007 national championship ring, and thus be out in time for his parish's Mardi Gras festivities.
Points are assessed based upon the severity of each alleged offense, on a scale of 1 (for "drankin', suspended license, and assorted petty misdemeanors") to 5 for murder, and we assume, sassing Aunt Stabby. Points are accumulative, and thus a player who steals a pig (petit theft, 1 point) then a car (3 points,) sexually assualts said pig (beastiality, 4 points) before drunkingly wrecking the stolen vehicle (DUI, 2 points) would be assessed a total of 10 points. In said hypothetical scenario, it is assumed the player would cover the bond by hocking his 2007 national championship ring, and thus be out in time for his parish's Mardi Gras festivities.
Posted on 3/18/14 at 9:25 am to outlawjoseywales
quote:
How many more points is theft by deception than possession of weed?
after reading what the deceptors by theftors did- i'd say they deserve about 200 pts a piece for just being so damn dumb.
Posted on 3/18/14 at 9:26 am to sugatowng
The most recent "rules" I could find:
LINK
THE RULES FOR COUNTING POINTS. Changes have been made here.
Murder: 10 points. We don't want to start quantifying evil, but if you violate society's original taboo, then you should get more than two points more than the guy getting a DUI. Thus the figure of ten points is decided on because ten sounds like a lot, and because if we are accused of trivializing murder we can point to it and go "hey, that's a big number, and seriously we didn't joke about it." As always, this is null and void if this involves the murder of a clown.
Cannibalism. Also 10 points. You say, "Oh, when will you use THAT?" This is what people who have no idea how the universe works, since it is just looking for a reason to put a college football cannibalism scandal into this website's life. (Dibs on Wisconsin being the first. Sausage tells no tales, and you really don't want to know how this particular sausage is made.)
Sex Crimes: 5 points. This is a new category to cover anything in the category, since the last thing we want to do is attempt to quantify the horrendous category of Sex Crimes. Five points and done.
Bestiality: 4 points. Again: just in case. No, having sex with a rival's ladies does not count as a sex crime either, you clever person.
Grand Larceny: 4 points. This has to be theft on a jewel thief-level so outrageous it demands to be called "a caper." Applies to money laundering, RICO violations,etc.
Hitting Girls: 3 points.
Car theft/Assault/Driving through houses drunk/Drug possession of the Tyrone Biggums variety: 3 Points.
Fightin' in 'da Club/Weed Possession/Standard DUI: 2 points. Any scenario involving group fighting of a thugged-out, 'we run this place' variety, and marijuana possession of the nickel bag level. Possession of 100 pounds of marijuana is a totally different thing, and takes you right back up to the 4 point 'nefarious' level.
Drankin'/Suspended License/Assorted petty misdemeanors: 1 point. Covers basic citations and stupid things cops like to cite drunk people for doing.
LINK
THE RULES FOR COUNTING POINTS. Changes have been made here.
Murder: 10 points. We don't want to start quantifying evil, but if you violate society's original taboo, then you should get more than two points more than the guy getting a DUI. Thus the figure of ten points is decided on because ten sounds like a lot, and because if we are accused of trivializing murder we can point to it and go "hey, that's a big number, and seriously we didn't joke about it." As always, this is null and void if this involves the murder of a clown.
Cannibalism. Also 10 points. You say, "Oh, when will you use THAT?" This is what people who have no idea how the universe works, since it is just looking for a reason to put a college football cannibalism scandal into this website's life. (Dibs on Wisconsin being the first. Sausage tells no tales, and you really don't want to know how this particular sausage is made.)
Sex Crimes: 5 points. This is a new category to cover anything in the category, since the last thing we want to do is attempt to quantify the horrendous category of Sex Crimes. Five points and done.
Bestiality: 4 points. Again: just in case. No, having sex with a rival's ladies does not count as a sex crime either, you clever person.
Grand Larceny: 4 points. This has to be theft on a jewel thief-level so outrageous it demands to be called "a caper." Applies to money laundering, RICO violations,etc.
Hitting Girls: 3 points.
Car theft/Assault/Driving through houses drunk/Drug possession of the Tyrone Biggums variety: 3 Points.
Fightin' in 'da Club/Weed Possession/Standard DUI: 2 points. Any scenario involving group fighting of a thugged-out, 'we run this place' variety, and marijuana possession of the nickel bag level. Possession of 100 pounds of marijuana is a totally different thing, and takes you right back up to the 4 point 'nefarious' level.
Drankin'/Suspended License/Assorted petty misdemeanors: 1 point. Covers basic citations and stupid things cops like to cite drunk people for doing.
Posted on 3/18/14 at 9:28 am to outlawjoseywales
I think it's going to be 12 points total, 3 per player or 4 points total, 1 per player, if they are all classified as simple misdemeanors .
However, if they count as 1, they might add up each infraction. So there are 11 incidents of theft/fraud, so it might be worth a total of 11 points.
However, if they count as 1, they might add up each infraction. So there are 11 incidents of theft/fraud, so it might be worth a total of 11 points.
This post was edited on 3/18/14 at 9:31 am
Posted on 3/18/14 at 10:11 am to CockInYourEar
And it is only football players correct?? Missouri had 2 BB and 2 FB get caught at the same time
Posted on 3/18/14 at 12:41 pm to USCGamecocks
quote:
Points are assessed based upon the severity of each alleged offense, on a scale of 1 (for "drankin', suspended license, and assorted petty misdemeanors") to 5 for murder, and we assume, sassing Aunt Stabby. Points are accumulative, and thus a player who steals a pig (petit theft, 1 point) then a car (3 points,) sexually assualts said pig (beastiality, 4 points) before drunkingly wrecking the stolen vehicle (DUI, 2 points) would be assessed a total of 10 points. In said hypothetical scenario, it is assumed the player would cover the bond by hocking his 2007 national championship ring, and thus be out in time for his parish's Mardi Gras festivities.
If you are trying to be funny, in Louisiana it is a DWI, not a DUI.
Posted on 3/18/14 at 12:47 pm to kage
How many points for eating someones face on bathsalts?
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