For those who have lost a parent

Sorry brother :(

I don't have advice specific for losing a parent but be there for your family and let them be there for you. If you aren't close with them, reach out. This is what family's for

There's not a playbook for the days and weeks immediately following it- no way for you to check and see if you're handling it properly, so don't worry about that. Think of the good times

T&P man. Mine are still here. I don't know how I would handle losing one.

Sorry to hear that man.

Sorry to hear that GC. Thoughts with you and yours for sure.

I've never lost a parent, but I have lost someone close to me (sibling). As others have said, there's no blueprint for grieving and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. It's different from person to person and situation to situation. You do what feels right for you. If that's having to shut shite down for awhile to "deal" with it then so be it. If it's getting out of the house and going out then so be it. Don't let anyone else dictate the way you grieve (because unfortunately you'll have people who will try to do just that).

Also don't be afraid to see a grief counselor/therapist if you feel like you need to talk to someone about it. I don't know if you're still in school but most all campuses have services that are free to you as a student. Sometimes it helps to talk to people who aren't intimately connected to the situation just to get things off your chest.

The most important thing is to make sure you take care of yourself through all of this. I can't speak for your situation, but sometimes it's real easy to get caught up in "being there" for everyone else and not dealing with your own feelings. Nothing wrong with being there for other people but it's a fine line in doing so and neglecting your own process.

I don't want to tell you it gets easier, but it does get more manageable with time.

I can see where you're coming from about your head. I'm with a lot of family but I keep wondering off by myself and feeling blank.

But thank all of you guys for the well wishes. I'm reading everybody's advice.

First thing, sorry to hear that my friend. It's always tough losing anyone, especially someone that close to you.

I lost my dad several years ago in a tragic way..it never gets easier I can tell you that, but time really does heal all wounds.

My best advice is for you to try to retain as many memories as possible and remember the good times you had with them. Also, don't throw away anything, afterward people (your family) will try to move on by getting rid of stuff. Don't do it, you'll regret it later.

How to cope? Remember the good times my friend, hold no regrets or grudges. Let their memory fill the hole you are filling in your soul.

It's so important that I tell you as a person who's lost their father at 20, hate and negativity are a serious thing, do not let it in. It's a tough road for a few years but it does get better.

All the best to you are your family.

Eta: to add to what Belle said..She gives very good advice, don't be afraid to talk it out with someone even a specialist. There is absolutely nothing wrong with working through this with a professional. That advice was given to me in my situation and I didn't take it, looking back I realize how much it would have helped.

Oh man. Sorry bro.

Thoughts and prays man. Can't imagine the situation you're in. Family is the key to getting over a loss. Lean on them and be there for them to lean on you.

Sorry about this man I hate it for you. I lost my mom at 22 - 8 years and 22 days ago.


I am a talkative person so it helped me to talk about it often.

I won't lie to you, the worst days were not within 1 or even 2 weeks for me. Those first few weeks will be filled with people that are there for you. As the months go on those people will get back into their schedule and forget about it - it's natural and they shouldn't be expected to do more. Find the friends that will be more than willing to talk about this months from now and stay close to them. Holidays/christmas/birthdays/vacations/going home will, at times, seem unbearable. Just know that it does get better with time. Personally, it helped me to get in and focus on something - initially it was girls/hooking up (didn't help) and ended with school/grades (did help). I also prayed a lot (also helped) but I dunno if you're religious. As the other guy said, don't suppress any grief and just let out - everyone will understand. One more thing, don't get frustrated with your friends if they can't relate. I always told myself as a younger kid that I wouldnt experience a death of a parent until I was like 50 something or older. For most people, that's the case. For us - that's not what was in the cards and we just gotta work though it. I think I developed more appreciation for my family than anyone else I knew.

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won't lie to you, the worst days were not within 1 or even 2 weeks for me. Those first few weeks will be filled with people that are there for you. As the months go on those people will get back into their schedule and forget about it - it's natural and they shouldn't be expected to do more

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This is very true. For myself, the hardest part came months afterwards, when I ran across the birthday card I received a couple months before mom's passing. It hit home hard at that moment, that it's the last one I would ever get from her again. I knew it, but just holding it in my hand just did something that made it incredibly real.