LSU fans...Questions about my trip to BR

Hi Tiger fans! Thanks for your help. I'll be making my first trip to Baton Rouge, and I have a few questions.

1) First and foremost, I'm a huge Mett fan. I know with Cam's new offense, Mett has been putting up some huge numbers. I am guessing that the tv broadcast will really play up the whole "showdown between two Heisman candidates" angle. Is there an official "Mett for Heisman" website I can visit before the trip, in order to better educate myself on his stats this year?

2) Second, and related to the first, any sign ideas for the Gameday crew? I'd like to really play up the whole "Mett vs Manziel" angle, since I know Herbie and the crew will be fixated on it.

3) Where should I eat? I should mention that my doctor has me on a diet that forbids me from eating any food item that includes pig intestine or hoof parts. So, please, no corndogs.

4) What about night life? I prefer girls with teeth, but no crotch bugs. Also, I prefer bands that don't include a wash basin. Any ideas?

5) Finally, I weigh about 170. What's the best way to avoid getting sandwiched between two 300 pound fat arse cajuns all game long?

Thanks for the help! See you Saturday!