SEC Contenders & Pretenders

Just a quick break down on Legit National Championship Contenders of the SEC, followed by what I've deemed the "Pretenders" of the SEC, as the True SEC Homers would like to believe they are contenders, but in reality they're just living on pipe dreams. Still a lot of shite to happen between now and the start of the season, such as injuries, arrest, and Hot Piss Test, which will result in player suspensions at the start of the season.
Contenders & Pretenders" will be ranked from Best to Worst.

Contenders:

Alabama -- To be the Man, you got to beat the Man! Despite the loss of so much talent to the NFL, Nick Saban just reloads every year and with bye's before A&M & LSU, The Tide are primed for running the table and going 12-0 & winning back to back National Championships.

Texas A&M -- Johnny Football & Sumlin are a force to be reckoned with & will face their stiffest test early in the season at home, as they host the Tide after warming up with a couple of cupcakes to start the season off. Later in the Season they travel to Death Valley, where Dreams go to die.

LSU -- Les Miles is saying he has perhaps one of the most talented classes ever & is a contender every year. Never count the Mad Hatter Out, as he's proven he can win in Tuscaloosa, in Georgia, and will host A&M & Florida in Death Valley.

South Carolina -- This is Clowney's year & a big chance for a defensive player to win the Heisman. The past couple of years the Cock's have dominated the East, but had to face the Big Dogs of the West. The Ole ball Coach wont be crying about scheduling this year as he travels to Arkansas and host Ms. State from the West & plays his biggest swing game the 2nd week of the season against Georgia & later in the season will be seeking payback against Muschamps lizzards after the Asswhooping they took in the swamp last year, thanks in large part to Team Flu epidemic and costly turnovers.

Georgia -- The Dawgs are more than likely the Media's darling to come out on top in the East, but they lost a shite ton of talent to the NFL on the defensive side of the ball & even with those defensive players from last year, they were still giving up 20 to 30 points a game! The Offense comes back almost completely intact and Aarron Murray is 3-0 versus the Gators in his career, but they will be trialed by fire opening with Clemson, then a Huge Home game against South Carolina, followed by a tough matchup with the Bayou Bengals, then they'll go on the road against a scrappy Vandy squad salivating for payback, followed by the World's Largest Cocktail party against Florida, then they play the oldest rivalry in the SEC against a revamped Auburn squad, and did I mention the fact that I think Mark Richt and his Georgia Bulldog squad are notorious choke artist.....almost want to put them in the Pretender category, but they were only One play away from winning the National Championship & still loaded with tremendous talent....almost feels like the Season they had Staford & Moreno and ran the table and throttled Hawai in the BCS bowl.

Florida -- They get Driskel back & that could be a good or bad thing, depending upon how well he progresses this season. The Gators have a nasty bunch on the defensive side of the ball that will keep them in the ball game with anyone they play. On top of all of that, their punter just might be their most dangerous weapon as he has the leg to back opposing teams up on their goal line nearly every punt! The Gators have three decisive games at LSU, a Rivalry game against Georgia, and then at South Carolina, but they definitely have a tailor made schedule that could propel them to the SEC Championship if they can capitalize on those big games.

Pretenders:

Vanderbilt -- James Franklin has done more with less than anyone in the SEC. In his two year tenure he has made history with back to back bowl seasons, and done so with previous coaches recruiting classes that ranked in the 100's, 70's, and 60's, but since he began coaching at Vanderbilt he has put together back to back Top 25 recruiting classes. Expectations are high now that his players are in place, but I feel Vandy has a ceiling of about 9 wins a season with the big boys in the SEC & even if they could make it to the SEC Championship, they would still get beat by who ever came out of the West.

Ole Miss -- Ole Miss overachieved last season and now all the little rich bastards are back on their "Hotty Toddy" Kick. Ole Miss has the most delusional fans in all of football, but they got a damn good coach who falls in James Franklin's category of doing more with less. He put together the best recruiting class in Ole Miss history, but he's urging fans to not get on their soap box just yet. 8 wins is the best I see the Teddy Bears doing this season, if that...

Arkansas -- Love Bielema's attitude and really think this team might get a few surprise wins this season....but they did lose their quarterback & are learning new systems...so a learning curve should be expected....but the Hogs own Ms. State, catch Auburn at home, have 4 winnable non-conf. games, and are probally good for one upset, so I expect em to go bowling but they are a couple of years away to be contemplating a trip to the Georgia Dome.

Auburn -- Gus Malzhan has reenergized this program & did a hell of job with the coaches he brought to the Plains, in Ellis Johnson to rebuild his defense, plus the all the good coaches Ms. State had. Plenty of talent at Auburn for them to compete out the gate and they might just shock a few teams early on, but they are not ready to contend just yet.

Ms. State -- Dan Mullen is the biggest pretender of em all & I give him this season before everybody screams off with his head....State lost a lot of good coaches to Auburn & have never beat a team with a winning record in the SEC West....He had one good year with Croom's recruits, but now his players are in place and they are not shite compared to the guys Croom left him....

Tennessee -- They lost a lot of offensive talent & are learning a new system under Butch Jones, plus they have a tough arse schedule...Tennessee just does not have enough athletes to compete right now & are in for another losing season in Knoxville.

Missouri -- I knew their offense would not work last year & they are taking a different more SEC type approach this year, but they lost some tremendous talent on the defensive side of the ball in Sheldon Richardson & a pair of bad arse linebackers. Mizzou is on the cusp of going .500 on this year, at best....but doubt they can do any better than that. Now they know what "Grown Man Football" is...

Kentucky -- Poor ole Stoops, has the Wildcat fanbase fired up...but all he is doing is pumping em up for a asswhiping....Kentucky is a basketball school and as long as they're dancing every year, everyone is happy...