I Hate Clemson

Clemson sucks.

The Clemson football program is the equivalent of the Holocaust, and their school colors have been known to cause AIDS.

Their fans are the epitome of desperation, and watching their continuous strive for national respect be shattered year after year is as hilarious as their cheerleader coach. They pat themselves on the back for beating the likes of Duke, Wake Forest, and NC State, yet they collectively holler about their desire to leave a conference that resembles the display case at my local bakery.

They believe themselves to be a national brand known coast to coast, yet most Americans have no idea where their university is even located.

They refer to our rivalry as more of a "domination," yet they haven't beaten us since Bush was president.

Fact: More cases of rape occur on the Clemson campus than anywhere in the country. They are also under investigation for harboring terrorists.

The Clemson "wooo" chant inspired the Broadway play Rent, as well as Ricky Martin's first album.

Clemson is responsible for world hunger.

Dabo Swinney is a joke, their defense is a joke, their fanbase is a joke, their schedule is a joke, and their undeserved sense of accomplishment is a joke. If every Clemson fan I knew suddenly came down with Syphilis, I would feel no remorse.

God I hate Clemson.

That is all.