Fair warning for all the newbies.

And for those that are already familiar with FaWxing, this week will be different.

The gumps are unbearable to me. They are like tu and the Sooners all rolled in to one. I want nothing more than to stomp them. Even more than LSU. I hate LSU, but I love the coon arse people, and their raging love for alcohol. We relate on a level beyond college football fandom. The gumps are different. They have the unmistakable arrogance some Aggies don't realize exists outside of Austin. It is there. We are young and new to this conference, and especially in internet terms there is too much sucking up. Being e-cordial to Florida is one thing. Never to Alabama. Never.

Now. I want to give you a fair warning of the posts you will see from me this week, and while I'm stuck in this hellish training in Duncan, there will be plenty. I know a lot of the newbies like to get all hyperdefensive about FaWxing because they see an A&M logo next to my name, and they mistake it for trolling, and jump in to attack mode. Just keep in mind 80% of the posts this week from the gumps will be devolved of intelligent conversation. Intelligent and legitimate conversation should be saved for the IM thread or the A&M board. This week is for building hate towards the gumps. I will give you a brief and abridged version of what exactly FaWxing is; and tailored towards the gumps so you can comprehend easier. This way you can join in, or just sit by, and not be that obnoxious frick that ruins everything.


- Nothing positive will be directed towards them. And if it is, it will always be underhanded.
- Anything that does concede anything they do well, might contain one or two anecdotal references to other SEC teams(this is always to draw them offsides and see if other fan bases jump in; since they are gumps they expect adoration from all angles, when another fan base teams up on them, they get flustered)
- Much like the knob slobbing gumps will exhibit towards Alabama's abilities(Saban's Chuck Norrisisms, McCarron for Heisman, their backups in the trenches Pro Bowl abilities, etc.), every rebuttal should be hyperbolic in the opposite direction. Subtle hyperbole is key, especially when people throw out the monikers "better" or "worse".
- Johnny Football is infallible. He has no flaws. They do not exist.
- No numbers outside of scores. You can't draw in the stat nerds. It is fun, but always devolves.
- Always refer to them as gumps. People that don't take themselves seriously can always overlook stupid nick names and misspellings. The ones that can't are fair game.
- Never get upset, or throw out personal attacks. It is the internet. It is just the internet.
- Gumps be gumpin.


And remember. I love you all, and let's beat the hell out of these frickers. Thanks and gigem.


*All rules of FaWxing are subject to change.