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The Max Guru Review
Posted on 10/6/12 at 11:21 pm
Posted on 10/6/12 at 11:21 pm
Me, Max Guru, in my first 4 days of membership here at SECRant, i have tallied about 45 posts... in this short time, i have been pudently called a troll, a tard, a redneck, and i was also cordially invited to "frick off newbie" a few times....
so now the curtain is drawn on this weekend's SEC games.. please allow me to reveiw my initial SECRant predictions and the insights that i so graciously presented, and we'll see if i live up to the "tard troll redneck newbie" exhaltations that a few select bonafide dum@sses here at SECRant so ignorantly tossed in my fresh salad... here we go>
well he11, it looks like i nailed those three games. florida's strengths showed up as what i said they were. Lattimore got over 110 yards, and the cackalack defense was definitely the better. johnnie football showed us in the 4th quarter that he is bonafide, just like i said he was.
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shall i review a couple of more of my first 45 posts? sure, why the he11 not...
dang, florida won the game by 1 point over Max Guru's paper trail line... imagine that.
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next...
dammit all, Max Guru even called the 10 1/2 point underdog arkansas win correctly. that makes Max Guru 4 for 4 on SEC game predictions for the week.
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more>
indeed the line was short, just like Max Guru said it was. south cackalack even crushed the 10 point paper line... and we know what lattimore did.
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On Max Guru>
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...now you have played a top 25 team. that was florida if you missed it.
just because uninformed voters have washington overrated doesn't mean they are top 25. trust me here, on paper (which usually equates to reality), washington is no where near top 25.
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in lieu of this evidence presented hereunto all, i respectfully submit that Max Guru is not a tard, troll, redneck, or even remotely close to being a newbie to this college football thingy as has been proposed, and in counter reference, i submit that Max Guru is pretty dam* college football savvy... pretty dam* savvy indeed.
now let the who gives a sh@ts and frick off newbies continue...
so now the curtain is drawn on this weekend's SEC games.. please allow me to reveiw my initial SECRant predictions and the insights that i so graciously presented, and we'll see if i live up to the "tard troll redneck newbie" exhaltations that a few select bonafide dum@sses here at SECRant so ignorantly tossed in my fresh salad... here we go>
quote:
TigerBait2008:[/b]
We get it, you're a troll move along.. Actually Im sure we won't see you again after UF gets that arse whooped.
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[b]Max Guru>...t bait, i'd speak for myself there and not claim everyone else in on my personal dumbfoundednesses. I could indeed be right here 5 years from now.
you call "troll" because i predict florida will beat lsu? and i argue florida's strengths? i guess that means since i predicted south cackalack will beat georgia because of Lattimore and having the better defense, georgia fans should throw the perverbial "troll" word on me too? i think A&M beats ole miss, mostly because johnnie football is bonafide, so reb, just call me a troll.
c.mon t bait, i've rode a horse before.
well he11, it looks like i nailed those three games. florida's strengths showed up as what i said they were. Lattimore got over 110 yards, and the cackalack defense was definitely the better. johnnie football showed us in the 4th quarter that he is bonafide, just like i said he was.
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shall i review a couple of more of my first 45 posts? sure, why the he11 not...
quote:
Burt Reynolds>
Should I bet it on LSU to cover -2.5?
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Max Guru>...the paper trail on this game was florida better by 5 to 7 points. the public betting lanes (always blinded by partisanism, media hype, recent history, more) say lsu by 3 to 5. the betting lanes determine the 50/50 betting split.
... the bet here is with florida. you get a solid paper favorite as an underdog, at home.
dang, florida won the game by 1 point over Max Guru's paper trail line... imagine that.
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next...
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Max Guru>...i wouldn't touch this one with a ten foot pole. arkansas is a 10 1/2 point underdog, but will not be the least surprised to see arkansas pull out a win. obviously this is one for the cellar dwellers.
if held against the wall, i'd call an upset here...
arkansas 28
auburn 27
dammit all, Max Guru even called the 10 1/2 point underdog arkansas win correctly. that makes Max Guru 4 for 4 on SEC game predictions for the week.
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more>
quote:
Max Guru>...when lattimore gains 110 yards or more, the probability of south cackalack winning is round about 85%.
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Max Guru>...sc is favored to win by 3 1/2 points, and that is a short line due to the uga bias in the public betting lanes. the book makers actually came in with SC by 7 to 10 on paper, but the booking would not balance out on that "paper line".
indeed the line was short, just like Max Guru said it was. south cackalack even crushed the 10 point paper line... and we know what lattimore did.
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On Max Guru>
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quote:TigerBait2008>
22 posts
frick off Newb.
Just outta curiosity though who is your "team"?
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i don't have a team. it gets in the way of being a conscienciously objective guru... in case no one ever notices that kind of stuff mudding up the windshield.
Max Guru
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quote:
Maximus> Washington is ranked in the top 25 but Max Redneck thinks we haven't played a top 50 team? Cute
...now you have played a top 25 team. that was florida if you missed it.
just because uninformed voters have washington overrated doesn't mean they are top 25. trust me here, on paper (which usually equates to reality), washington is no where near top 25.
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in lieu of this evidence presented hereunto all, i respectfully submit that Max Guru is not a tard, troll, redneck, or even remotely close to being a newbie to this college football thingy as has been proposed, and in counter reference, i submit that Max Guru is pretty dam* college football savvy... pretty dam* savvy indeed.
now let the who gives a sh@ts and frick off newbies continue...
This post was edited on 10/6/12 at 11:37 pm
13
Posted on 10/6/12 at 11:22 pm to Max Guru
tfl;dfr
Posted on 10/6/12 at 11:22 pm to Max Guru
Posted on 10/6/12 at 11:22 pm to Max Guru
WHAT THE FRICK IS THIS!???!!
Posted on 10/6/12 at 11:22 pm to Max Guru
Good shite. 
Posted on 10/6/12 at 11:23 pm to Max Guru
That was way too long.
I need you to read it for me.
I need you to read it for me.
Posted on 10/6/12 at 11:24 pm to Max Guru
Tl:dr. DIAF
Posted on 10/6/12 at 11:25 pm to Max Guru
so are we supposed to call your 1-900 number now or something?
I don't get it, but definitely GTFO.
ETA: read the OP; good picks I guess, I don't think you called any reaches or anything that wasn't plausible. You're sassy, hope you stick around.
I don't get it, but definitely GTFO.
ETA: read the OP
; good picks I guess, I don't think you called any reaches or anything that wasn't plausible. You're sassy, hope you stick around.This post was edited on 10/6/12 at 11:30 pm
Posted on 10/6/12 at 11:26 pm to Max Guru
Who is he11 ?
I kid. But, fricking really he11?
I kid. But, fricking really he11?
Posted on 10/6/12 at 11:26 pm to Max Guru
Max Guru
Posted on 10/6/12 at 11:30 pm to Max Guru
Posted on 10/6/12 at 11:32 pm to Slippery Slope
quote:
That was way too long. I need you to read it to me.
...i apologize. i will keep it to four letter words, now more than twelve of them, and a limit of two lines per post just like you from now on, so that you can comprehend what the he11 is going on.
Posted on 10/6/12 at 11:36 pm to Max Guru
Holy fricking shite.
Posted on 10/6/12 at 11:41 pm to Max Guru
I suspect that you may be functionally retarded after reading that atrocious post
This post was edited on 10/6/12 at 11:42 pm
Posted on 10/6/12 at 11:50 pm to Max Guru
i tried to read it but most of it is you bitching about other people's opinions.
I still don't even get what team you wanted to win was. I hope you try to make a living betting on sports games.
I still don't even get what team you wanted to win was. I hope you try to make a living betting on sports games.
Posted on 10/6/12 at 11:54 pm to gatordmb89
quote:
Good shite.
...thank you very much gatordmb.
it was unbounding fun tossing that raw polk salad right back on those yakky old whippersnapper's plates.
who looks like a dumb newbie now? oh yeah, that would be those yakky whippersnappers that have made humpteen-thousand blabbery one line posts that are void of insight or significant relevance the large majority of the time. you gotta be careful with newbies... they may be smarter than you are. a lot smarter.
Posted on 10/7/12 at 12:07 am to johnzorback
quote:
i tried to read it but most of it is you bitching about other people's opinions. I still don't even get what team you wanted to win was. I hope you try to make a living betting on sports games.
...i fully understand some arkansans have trouble with reading comprehension skills, and i would never hold that against anyone. so just slow down, read it word for word and line for line. that is all the help i can give you from here. your local community college can help more.
and no i don't bet... i am excluded. and i wouldn't bet anyway if i wasn't. actual betting gets in the way of being a conscienciously objective guru...it will muddy the windshield every time. i can tell you how i'd bet, but that isn't betting.
Posted on 10/7/12 at 12:26 am to CtotheVrzrbck
quote:
so are we supposed to call your 1-900 number now or something?
ETA: read the OP ; good picks I guess, I don't think you called any reaches or anything that wasn't plausible. You're sassy, hope you stick around.
...actually the hotel has a 1-800 number.
and i agree i didn't make any reaches or unplausible predictions. but i did offer up objective insight.
i actually liked missou over vandy but i didn't say so because at the bottom line of the paper trail, it was toss up game. naturally i liked miss state to beat uk, but didn't bother saying so because it was a no-brainer win pick.
...and thanks for the ETA, CtotheV.. and yeah, i'll probably stick around a while. i like the fast action here at SECRant.
This post was edited on 10/7/12 at 12:28 am
Posted on 10/7/12 at 12:50 am to UASports23
quote:
Who is he11 ?
I kid. But, fricking really he11?
i never spell bad words right. i say 'em, i just never spell them right.
This post was edited on 10/7/12 at 12:54 am
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