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Why Ole Miss Sucks*
Posted on 11/18/08 at 11:01 am
Posted on 11/18/08 at 11:01 am
(* reprinted with the express written consent of the GFoNPs)
1) They're a bunch of pretentious redneck retards. Contrary to the popular belief in Oxford, J. Crew gear does NOT give you elegance. It's like putting lipstick and a prom dress on a pig. You still have a pig, not a homecoming queen. That's true even in Oxfart, where it would be an improvement over most homecoming queens.
2) A Rebel's idea of tailgating is hanging a chandelier in the Grove, eating catered food off fine china, and finding a fantabulous centerpiece for their table. That's tailgating?? Yet they say LSU brings "too much cooking equipment" which is "too much work". Hello, McFly? If you want good tailgating, put all that effort into the food instead of decorating. Geesh. Save your ample interior decorating prowess for something that really needs it, like Port-a-Vaught.
3) What is Ole Miss best known for? Yep, a segregationist race riot. Speaking of which, they haven't won the SEC "SINCE INTEGRATION". Their last title was 1963. That's so long ago that some NFL coaches and NFL Hall of Famers hadn't been born yet. Tulane and Georgia Tech were still in the SEC. Walking on the moon was an ambitious goal. A gallon of gas cost thirty cents. And none of the big civil rights acts had been passed. Damn, they missed a few more chances to burn their own campus. Pity because each fire would have caused thousands of dollars in improvements.
4) They have a grossly inflated opinion of themselves. Reality is beginning to settle in as far as athletics is concerned--their home crowds look like a Florida Marlins game. But they still honestly think they set the standard for class. So how do they explain their tratment of David Cutcliffe? When they were looking for a new coach after Ears skedaddled out of town, Eli was a senior in high school and trying to decide on a college. So the Weebles hired Cutcliffe, a quarterback guru highly regarded by the Mannings. The ploy worked and Eli went to Ole Miss. But it wasn't a good-faith hire. The Rebs waited for Eli to graduate, then fired Cut just one year later. Nice people, huh? Then, after an exhaustive national search, Ole Metrosexual settled on a missing link named Ed Orgeron, who is best known for ripping his shirt off at his first team meeting and for the "Yawyawyawyawyawyaw" song.
5) So, how did the hire work out for the Rebs? HAHA! In O's first season, he lost to Vandy, Wyoming, and Mississippi State. Ouch. But he must have been losing with Cutcliffe's players. Just wait until his recruiting kicks in. Let's look at his first recruiting class--12 of 29 are still in Oxford. Hmmm...maybe they better stop worrying about a fence around Memphis and build one around their own campus. But at least they got Brent Schaefer to transfer. Where have I heard that name before? Oh yeah! He's the guy who couldn't beat Erik Ainge and Rick Clausen on the depth chart at Tennessee. Was he the savior of their program?? Not exactly. He lost the starting job to walk-on Seth Adams. Meanwhile the product on the field has gotten so bad that the Rebs will probably be the only losing team in the conference, and after one game the fans threw their shoes on the field. Well, that doesn't mean anything. Ole Miss fans don't know what else to do with a shoe.
6) A few weeks after Katrina, Bay Bay had one of his assistants call a Tulane assistant and ask how he and his family were doing. Then O took the phone and said "The real reason I'm calling is I heard you might be dropping football and I wanted to get a head start on some of your players." I don't know which is worse--being a sleazy vulture or being desperate enough to poach players from a program that hasn't had a winning Conference USA record since 1998.
7) The Tigers went through some lean times a few years ago. But Ole Myth was a good cure for our ills. 1987-99 was the worst era in LSU history. During that period, the Weebles still won only 6 of the 13 games. Put another way, they had a sub-.500 record against the Archmannardo brain trust. Speaking of Archmannardo, Vandy had a 2-2 record against the Rebels when Dumbardo was coaching in Nashville.
8) 5 of the 6 West teams have appeared in the SEC Championship game. Guess which one hasn't made the trip? Nope, not Mississippi State--even Jackie the Clown went to Atlanta. That's right, the weebles. This in spite of having Vanderbilt as a permanent East opponent. The only time they came close was 2003, when Eli fell on his arse and their hopes died. They settled for their first division co-championship and hung a banner for it. They HUNG A BANNER for something Gerry Dinardo accomplished twice.
9) The Manning Legacy? Sucking. The Mannings played 11 seasons in the SEC. Only Peyton ever won the conference, and he had to go to Tennessee to do it. Archie never even made the playoffs in the pros. As far as the SEC, Peyton's sons will go to Tennessee and I
wouldn't count on Eli having any sons, if you know what I mean. But don't worry Ole Piss fans!! Cooper's son will arrive on campus in the early 2020s, meaning every Lincoln Financial broadcast will make 5,000 references to the Manning Legacy and show Archie with his stupid yellow headphones after every down.
10) The Hotty Toddy cheer. Who the hell thinks this "Toddy" guy's a
"hotty"? Does that have something to do with Ole Wuss fraternity hazing?? And the "gosh amighty" and "who the hell are we" parts sound like an 8-year-old trying out his first cuss words.
11) They think it's the 1850s. While the administration has disavowed Dixie, the rebel flag, and Colonel Reb, the fans are still pitching a hissy fit over the loss of their Old South "traditions". I'm not saying there's anything wrong with Southerners taking pride in their heritage, but there are literally hundreds of Southern schools that don't feel the need to base their entire identity on the antebellum period. But I guess you can't blame them. If I lived in an armpit of a town like Oxford, and I went to a school whose athletic legacy was a century of futility, I'd pretend it was the ancient past too. The rest of us--who actually did something worth noting since the War Between the States--have moved on.
12) Hypersensitive fans. Before an LSU-Ole Miss game a few years ago, a bunch of Ole Miss fans started their inane chant, and I did my parody (Hotty Toddy Gosh Amighty, where did Ole Miss play? Flim flam bim bam BLUE GRAY by damn!) The Weeble fan sitting next to me
immediately gave me a ticket for a seat five sections away, which I accepted since it was a better seat. Then, in the fourth quarter, I yelled "Eli Sucks" instead of "Kick their @$$" after a Tiger first down, and the Reb behind me kicked me in the back.
13) Ole Mrs. suckdom isn't limited to football. The last time their baseball team won a game in Omaha, their star player was a third baseman named Archie Manning. And their basketball team has never won the conference. Not once in over 70 years. But as bad as they are in sports, they're even worse in the classroom. A 16 on the ACT gets you into Ole Miss. That's not a typo. SIXTEEN!! You need a 17 for NCAA eligibility. OK, you need a little more than a 16 to get into Ole Priss. You also need a 2.5 GPA.
14) The Walk of Champions? Must go to the visitors' locker room. Which of these does not belong: Alaska-Fairbanks, Baylor, Boise State, Bowling Green, CCNY, Eastern Kentucky, Furman, Holy Cross, James Madison, Michigan Tech, Minnesota-Duluth, Montana State, Northern Iowa, Ole Miss, Rice, Southern Illinois-Edwardsville, Temple, Tulane, Wayne State, or William & Mary? The answer: Ole
Miss, because this is a list of teams that have won a Division I national championship in something.
1) They're a bunch of pretentious redneck retards. Contrary to the popular belief in Oxford, J. Crew gear does NOT give you elegance. It's like putting lipstick and a prom dress on a pig. You still have a pig, not a homecoming queen. That's true even in Oxfart, where it would be an improvement over most homecoming queens.
2) A Rebel's idea of tailgating is hanging a chandelier in the Grove, eating catered food off fine china, and finding a fantabulous centerpiece for their table. That's tailgating?? Yet they say LSU brings "too much cooking equipment" which is "too much work". Hello, McFly? If you want good tailgating, put all that effort into the food instead of decorating. Geesh. Save your ample interior decorating prowess for something that really needs it, like Port-a-Vaught.
3) What is Ole Miss best known for? Yep, a segregationist race riot. Speaking of which, they haven't won the SEC "SINCE INTEGRATION". Their last title was 1963. That's so long ago that some NFL coaches and NFL Hall of Famers hadn't been born yet. Tulane and Georgia Tech were still in the SEC. Walking on the moon was an ambitious goal. A gallon of gas cost thirty cents. And none of the big civil rights acts had been passed. Damn, they missed a few more chances to burn their own campus. Pity because each fire would have caused thousands of dollars in improvements.
4) They have a grossly inflated opinion of themselves. Reality is beginning to settle in as far as athletics is concerned--their home crowds look like a Florida Marlins game. But they still honestly think they set the standard for class. So how do they explain their tratment of David Cutcliffe? When they were looking for a new coach after Ears skedaddled out of town, Eli was a senior in high school and trying to decide on a college. So the Weebles hired Cutcliffe, a quarterback guru highly regarded by the Mannings. The ploy worked and Eli went to Ole Miss. But it wasn't a good-faith hire. The Rebs waited for Eli to graduate, then fired Cut just one year later. Nice people, huh? Then, after an exhaustive national search, Ole Metrosexual settled on a missing link named Ed Orgeron, who is best known for ripping his shirt off at his first team meeting and for the "Yawyawyawyawyawyaw" song.
5) So, how did the hire work out for the Rebs? HAHA! In O's first season, he lost to Vandy, Wyoming, and Mississippi State. Ouch. But he must have been losing with Cutcliffe's players. Just wait until his recruiting kicks in. Let's look at his first recruiting class--12 of 29 are still in Oxford. Hmmm...maybe they better stop worrying about a fence around Memphis and build one around their own campus. But at least they got Brent Schaefer to transfer. Where have I heard that name before? Oh yeah! He's the guy who couldn't beat Erik Ainge and Rick Clausen on the depth chart at Tennessee. Was he the savior of their program?? Not exactly. He lost the starting job to walk-on Seth Adams. Meanwhile the product on the field has gotten so bad that the Rebs will probably be the only losing team in the conference, and after one game the fans threw their shoes on the field. Well, that doesn't mean anything. Ole Miss fans don't know what else to do with a shoe.
6) A few weeks after Katrina, Bay Bay had one of his assistants call a Tulane assistant and ask how he and his family were doing. Then O took the phone and said "The real reason I'm calling is I heard you might be dropping football and I wanted to get a head start on some of your players." I don't know which is worse--being a sleazy vulture or being desperate enough to poach players from a program that hasn't had a winning Conference USA record since 1998.
7) The Tigers went through some lean times a few years ago. But Ole Myth was a good cure for our ills. 1987-99 was the worst era in LSU history. During that period, the Weebles still won only 6 of the 13 games. Put another way, they had a sub-.500 record against the Archmannardo brain trust. Speaking of Archmannardo, Vandy had a 2-2 record against the Rebels when Dumbardo was coaching in Nashville.
8) 5 of the 6 West teams have appeared in the SEC Championship game. Guess which one hasn't made the trip? Nope, not Mississippi State--even Jackie the Clown went to Atlanta. That's right, the weebles. This in spite of having Vanderbilt as a permanent East opponent. The only time they came close was 2003, when Eli fell on his arse and their hopes died. They settled for their first division co-championship and hung a banner for it. They HUNG A BANNER for something Gerry Dinardo accomplished twice.
9) The Manning Legacy? Sucking. The Mannings played 11 seasons in the SEC. Only Peyton ever won the conference, and he had to go to Tennessee to do it. Archie never even made the playoffs in the pros. As far as the SEC, Peyton's sons will go to Tennessee and I
wouldn't count on Eli having any sons, if you know what I mean. But don't worry Ole Piss fans!! Cooper's son will arrive on campus in the early 2020s, meaning every Lincoln Financial broadcast will make 5,000 references to the Manning Legacy and show Archie with his stupid yellow headphones after every down.
10) The Hotty Toddy cheer. Who the hell thinks this "Toddy" guy's a
"hotty"? Does that have something to do with Ole Wuss fraternity hazing?? And the "gosh amighty" and "who the hell are we" parts sound like an 8-year-old trying out his first cuss words.
11) They think it's the 1850s. While the administration has disavowed Dixie, the rebel flag, and Colonel Reb, the fans are still pitching a hissy fit over the loss of their Old South "traditions". I'm not saying there's anything wrong with Southerners taking pride in their heritage, but there are literally hundreds of Southern schools that don't feel the need to base their entire identity on the antebellum period. But I guess you can't blame them. If I lived in an armpit of a town like Oxford, and I went to a school whose athletic legacy was a century of futility, I'd pretend it was the ancient past too. The rest of us--who actually did something worth noting since the War Between the States--have moved on.
12) Hypersensitive fans. Before an LSU-Ole Miss game a few years ago, a bunch of Ole Miss fans started their inane chant, and I did my parody (Hotty Toddy Gosh Amighty, where did Ole Miss play? Flim flam bim bam BLUE GRAY by damn!) The Weeble fan sitting next to me
immediately gave me a ticket for a seat five sections away, which I accepted since it was a better seat. Then, in the fourth quarter, I yelled "Eli Sucks" instead of "Kick their @$$" after a Tiger first down, and the Reb behind me kicked me in the back.
13) Ole Mrs. suckdom isn't limited to football. The last time their baseball team won a game in Omaha, their star player was a third baseman named Archie Manning. And their basketball team has never won the conference. Not once in over 70 years. But as bad as they are in sports, they're even worse in the classroom. A 16 on the ACT gets you into Ole Miss. That's not a typo. SIXTEEN!! You need a 17 for NCAA eligibility. OK, you need a little more than a 16 to get into Ole Priss. You also need a 2.5 GPA.
14) The Walk of Champions? Must go to the visitors' locker room. Which of these does not belong: Alaska-Fairbanks, Baylor, Boise State, Bowling Green, CCNY, Eastern Kentucky, Furman, Holy Cross, James Madison, Michigan Tech, Minnesota-Duluth, Montana State, Northern Iowa, Ole Miss, Rice, Southern Illinois-Edwardsville, Temple, Tulane, Wayne State, or William & Mary? The answer: Ole
Miss, because this is a list of teams that have won a Division I national championship in something.
14
Posted on 11/18/08 at 11:28 am to greydog
I point the suck finger at any school that calls themselves the "Harvard of the ________" or the "Princeton of the ________".
If you can't get into any Ivy League school, just deal with it.
If you can't get into any Ivy League school, just deal with it.
Posted on 11/18/08 at 11:29 am to Fewer Kilometers
They suck because they are Ole Miss.
Posted on 11/18/08 at 11:33 am to ST.TAMMANYTIGER
The inevitable finally happens because of this thread. The internet runs out of space.
Posted on 11/18/08 at 11:55 am to CTexTiger
Wow someone here really doesn't like ole miss.
What I did read was pretty funny.
What I did read was pretty funny.
Posted on 11/18/08 at 12:31 pm to greydog
Yea, but how dooou feel about ole piss???
Posted on 11/18/08 at 12:32 pm to greydog
Yea, but how do you feel about ole piss???
(typo corrected version)
(typo corrected version)
Posted on 11/18/08 at 12:39 pm to tigercat70
I'd say that's pretty spot on, especially number 4 and 12. I grew up in Mississippi and Ole Miss was about 2 hours or so north of where I lived and Miss. State was about 2 hours east. At least the Miss. State fans realize how bad they suck. Nothing gets on my nerves more than an Ole Miss fan. If we lose to them I definitely will not being going home for Christmas.
Posted on 11/18/08 at 4:12 pm to greydog
whoever this clown is needs to get his facts straight
1. LSU just recently equaled us in football national championships (3)
2. he claims he was kicked by an Ole Miss fan?? I believe Pete Boone said
it best in 2003 when Nick Saban whined about OM fans flipping off their
team bus when they were driving up to the stadium "Coach Saban has
obviously never driven a visiting team bus into Tiger Stadium" wonder how
Nick feels about that now?? Considering LSU fans throw bottles and shake
the visiting team bus like they're trying to turn it over
3. LSU was completely irrelevant on the national scene before Saban arrived
minus a couple of years under Dinardo when they reached the top 10, only to
be knocked off the week after they beat #1 Florida by who? you guessed it,
Ole Miss by 20 points in Tiger Stadium
4. He really wants to discuss the women at Ole Miss vs. LSU? Really?
Really??
5. I got nothing on the Coach O stuff, which takes up about half of the
points he makes. I'm not a LSU historian, but I'm sure they probably have
made some bad hires in the past as well
6. He can kiss The Grove's a** on tailgating, LSU is NOT better than the
Grove. Period.
7. He can try to put down on our traditions such as Dixie, Walk of
Champions, etc, but the fact of the matter is, they don't have any except
the band "running down the hill into Tiger Stadium", being obnoxious fans
(like this douche, who is the reason I have to take time out of my day to
respond to retarded rants like his), and smelling like corn dogs. Don't
even get me started on how some of those jerkoffs dress for football games.
I'm sorry our girls our hot and wear tight dresses, short skirts and are
increasingly getting boob jobs. You're right, I'd much rather see some girl
wearing a purple "lsu football" shirt.
****For the record I did not write the stuff above. It was in response to the original post and also an Ole Miss fan. One of my good friends. People like to say the rivalry between these two teams are dead because we haven't been competitive, but wow, Look at the post going on this week. Any how best of luck this week it should make for a great game. And fyi i don't believe it is fair to make fun of the way others do things if you have never been to the Grove or tailgaited with Ole Miss people. We aren't all stuck up and pretentious. Yes you will find it on the campus. you will find it on any campus. I have tailgaited with you for 4 games this year in purple and gold and will find it interesting to see how differently i am treated this week when i wear my red and blue.
1. LSU just recently equaled us in football national championships (3)
2. he claims he was kicked by an Ole Miss fan?? I believe Pete Boone said
it best in 2003 when Nick Saban whined about OM fans flipping off their
team bus when they were driving up to the stadium "Coach Saban has
obviously never driven a visiting team bus into Tiger Stadium" wonder how
Nick feels about that now?? Considering LSU fans throw bottles and shake
the visiting team bus like they're trying to turn it over
3. LSU was completely irrelevant on the national scene before Saban arrived
minus a couple of years under Dinardo when they reached the top 10, only to
be knocked off the week after they beat #1 Florida by who? you guessed it,
Ole Miss by 20 points in Tiger Stadium
4. He really wants to discuss the women at Ole Miss vs. LSU? Really?
Really??
5. I got nothing on the Coach O stuff, which takes up about half of the
points he makes. I'm not a LSU historian, but I'm sure they probably have
made some bad hires in the past as well
6. He can kiss The Grove's a** on tailgating, LSU is NOT better than the
Grove. Period.
7. He can try to put down on our traditions such as Dixie, Walk of
Champions, etc, but the fact of the matter is, they don't have any except
the band "running down the hill into Tiger Stadium", being obnoxious fans
(like this douche, who is the reason I have to take time out of my day to
respond to retarded rants like his), and smelling like corn dogs. Don't
even get me started on how some of those jerkoffs dress for football games.
I'm sorry our girls our hot and wear tight dresses, short skirts and are
increasingly getting boob jobs. You're right, I'd much rather see some girl
wearing a purple "lsu football" shirt.
****For the record I did not write the stuff above. It was in response to the original post and also an Ole Miss fan. One of my good friends. People like to say the rivalry between these two teams are dead because we haven't been competitive, but wow, Look at the post going on this week. Any how best of luck this week it should make for a great game. And fyi i don't believe it is fair to make fun of the way others do things if you have never been to the Grove or tailgaited with Ole Miss people. We aren't all stuck up and pretentious. Yes you will find it on the campus. you will find it on any campus. I have tailgaited with you for 4 games this year in purple and gold and will find it interesting to see how differently i am treated this week when i wear my red and blue.
Posted on 11/18/08 at 4:23 pm to starlight
Ole Miss still sucks regardless. Tailgating doesnt win you football games!
Posted on 11/18/08 at 4:30 pm to geauxtigers585
I tailgated in the grove once. It sucked.
Posted on 11/18/08 at 4:36 pm to starlight
quote:
Don't
even get me started on how some of those jerkoffs dress for football games.
This quote is the essence of Ole Miss douchbagness
Posted on 11/18/08 at 5:38 pm to Rickety Cricket
The reason Ole Piss will win: Mr. pick 6 himself J.Lee
Posted on 11/18/08 at 5:51 pm to blades8088
quote:
starlight
hmmm... number 12?
Posted on 11/18/08 at 6:31 pm to GeauxTigers310
quote:
6. He can kiss The Grove's a** on tailgating, LSU is NOT better than the Grove. Period.
The grove sucks arse..Posted on 11/18/08 at 6:33 pm to TigerBait2008
No kidding the Grove is the biggest Myth in college football
Posted on 11/18/08 at 6:39 pm to TigerBait2008
LSU women > Ole Miss women. Suggesting that the state of Mississippi has anything thats more attractive than Louisiana is a joke.
Posted on 11/18/08 at 6:42 pm to blades8088
quote:
The reason Ole Piss will win: Mr. pick 6 himself J.Lee
STFU you stupid frick.
starting shite about JL in an earlier thread and you still talking your shite on this thread. frickING DIE>
Posted on 11/18/08 at 6:43 pm to TigerBait2008
quote:
The grove sucks arse
it just consists of bowl cut northface wearing, red pant sporting redneck figs.
This post was edited on 11/18/08 at 6:44 pm
Posted on 11/19/08 at 9:55 pm to greydog
I think you are wrong about that ACT score. My daughter received her acceptance letter from Ole Miss before I had a chance to request a foward of her ACT and SAT scores. I think she got accepted beause she was able to fill out the application and submit it on line without any help.
Oh, by the way she is a freshman at LSU!
Oh, by the way she is a freshman at LSU!
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