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re: Wife quit her professional medical job when we decided to have a kid

Posted on 1/5/17 at 9:50 am to
Posted by TX Tiger
at home
Member since Jan 2004
35632 posts
Posted on 1/5/17 at 9:50 am to
quote:

This country is full of miserable well-off people trying to fill a void everyday with material gains. And people who are miserable because they struggle to pay the bills. The only content ones are those who are happy with the life they have outside of money concerns (personal, social, family, etc) and can live that life they want within their means. They may be rich, poor, or middle but they know what they want, they have what they want, and they can support it
Why do you hate America so much?
Posted by StrawsDrawnAtRandom
Member since Sep 2013
21146 posts
Posted on 1/5/17 at 11:22 am to
quote:

So kill yourself.

Easier to kill your family and others.

Or just stop having kids, one or the other will happen when the resources are less available.
Posted by genro
Member since Nov 2011
61788 posts
Posted on 1/5/17 at 11:37 am to
Gonna have 7 kids now instead of just 6
Posted by Rebelgator
Pripyat Bridge
Member since Mar 2010
39543 posts
Posted on 1/5/17 at 12:15 pm to
Please stop reproducing
Posted by Old Sarge
Dean of Admissions, LSU
Member since Jan 2012
55219 posts
Posted on 1/5/17 at 12:21 pm to
So much hate in this thread
Posted by rockiee
Sugar Land, TX
Member since Jan 2015
28540 posts
Posted on 1/5/17 at 12:32 pm to
quote:


I think we should give make maternity as financially viable as possible with our tax system. I don't know the best way to do this, but I think it's important.


It seems like many European countries do this to a certain extent.
Posted by BluegrassBelle
RIP Hefty Lefty - 1981-2019
Member since Nov 2010
98918 posts
Posted on 1/5/17 at 12:56 pm to
quote:

frick her degree. frick the extra income. frick women's lib.



I've always felt that true feminism is a woman having the option to make the choice to raise her kids if she sees fit to do so. And respecting a woman who makes that choice. The feminist movement has been alienating women who want to do so since WWII. And it's likely what cost us the passing of the ERA.

quote:

This is the way it always should have been.


Honestly, we should as a society be supporting our working class, intelligent members of society reproduce. That may mean being more flexible in the workplace for new mothers and fathers. Providing better maternity and paternity leave. And recognizing that production and families suffer when you work people to the point that they cannot produce a stable family environment because of their absence.
Posted by DarthRebel
Tier Five is Alive
Member since Feb 2013
21231 posts
Posted on 1/5/17 at 1:11 pm to
This has been a male dominated conversation, it would be great to hear from some of the women out there on the topic.

With 2 healthy kids or less, it is pretty easy to run a house and keep a career. The key is both husband and wife have to share the responsibilities.

I will not lie. If my daughter grew up and graduated college and then quit work to just be a stay at home mom (I know many here in Texas that did just that), I would want all the college fund money back from her. Spend $50,000 to $100,000 for an education and then become something you can do for free.

Posted by BluegrassBelle
RIP Hefty Lefty - 1981-2019
Member since Nov 2010
98918 posts
Posted on 1/5/17 at 1:22 pm to
quote:

I will not lie. If my daughter grew up and graduated college and then quit work to just be a stay at home mom (I know many here in Texas that did just that), I would want all the college fund money back from her. Spend $50,000 to $100,000 for an education and then become something you can do for free.



Just because you quit work to raise your child, doesn't mean you'll always stay home as a stay at home Mom. You should be happy that your daughter is in a situation where she can put aside her career long enough to raise her children herself instead of depending on a daycare to do so.

FWIW, I know a lot of women right now in multiple professions that are taking time off from their profession to raise their kids because of the cost of daycare. A good daycare can be the equivalent of a rent payment.
Posted by rockiee
Sugar Land, TX
Member since Jan 2015
28540 posts
Posted on 1/5/17 at 1:33 pm to
quote:

I would want all the college fund money back from her. Spend $50,000 to $100,000 for an education and then become something you can do for free.



What an incredibly simplistic and foolish way of looking at it.
This post was edited on 1/5/17 at 1:41 pm
Posted by Rebelgator
Pripyat Bridge
Member since Mar 2010
39543 posts
Posted on 1/5/17 at 1:36 pm to
Just hire a Latino nanny. Problem solved.
Posted by Masterag
'Round Dallas
Member since Sep 2014
18798 posts
Posted on 1/5/17 at 2:22 pm to
I know plenty women who hate staying home with their children. And men who enjoy it. What's your point?
Posted by Masterag
'Round Dallas
Member since Sep 2014
18798 posts
Posted on 1/5/17 at 2:24 pm to
quote:

we both have dreams of living on land someday and that won't be cheap


So are you guys living on water right now, or in space?
Posted by DarthRebel
Tier Five is Alive
Member since Feb 2013
21231 posts
Posted on 1/5/17 at 2:42 pm to
quote:

What an incredibly simplistic and foolish way of looking at it.


Not really. Just take emotion out of it and it is pretty logical.
Posted by Masterag
'Round Dallas
Member since Sep 2014
18798 posts
Posted on 1/5/17 at 2:42 pm to
quote:

I would want all the college fund money back from her.


Simple solution. Don't pay for your kids' school. My gfs parents paid for all 3 of their daughters' undergrads and now don't know when they'll be able to retire.

frick that, My legs and I paid for school, my kids can do the same.
Posted by Rebelgator
Pripyat Bridge
Member since Mar 2010
39543 posts
Posted on 1/5/17 at 2:44 pm to
My parents paid for my school. They're retired and finishing up a house across from Freeze in Oxford. Maybe just don't do shite when you can't afford it?
Posted by dmjones
Acworth, GA
Member since Mar 2016
2303 posts
Posted on 1/5/17 at 2:49 pm to
My sons school is already paid for. He's only two but his grandparents have set up an account for him that will more than cover his education. There's nothing wrong with giving your children the best start into their adult life.
Posted by BluegrassBelle
RIP Hefty Lefty - 1981-2019
Member since Nov 2010
98918 posts
Posted on 1/5/17 at 2:52 pm to
quote:

Simple solution. Don't pay for your kids' school. My gfs parents paid for all 3 of their daughters' undergrads and now don't know when they'll be able to retire.


I can't fault someone for wanting better for their kids. I knew my parents wouldn't be able to afford my college so I took it upon myself to carry that burden between student loans and scholarship money.

But if someone can't retire because they foot the bill for their kid's degrees than they had bigger problems than paying for their kids to go to school.
Posted by Masterag
'Round Dallas
Member since Sep 2014
18798 posts
Posted on 1/5/17 at 2:53 pm to
Well they could at the time, then some unforeseen circumstances cost them their livelihood so they had to start over.

It's nice that your folks are doing well, tho. And you're right, if it's not money you couldn't do without don't do it.
This post was edited on 1/5/17 at 2:55 pm
Posted by hoginthesw
DFW
Member since Sep 2009
5329 posts
Posted on 1/5/17 at 2:54 pm to
quote:

frick her degree. frick the extra income. frick women's lib.


What exactly do you consider women's lib to be???

You are stating that taking away choices that you deem as now useless (degree, income) is the correct and only way. So, it wasn't her choice to stay at home?? Women's lib is just that... the ability to make choices. Whatever that may be. Don't confuse your way for being the 'right' way.

Congrats to you guys for finding out what works for you. Seriously. Personally, I'd rather run into a brick wall head first than stay at home with my kids all day every day. (one is a teenager. might be why) Working as always been what is right for me and always will be. I was always the bread winner, though....so, there is that. That said, it would never have made a difference. For me the choice is having it all. It works for me. Then again as a woman I put a lot of value in a degree, income and women's lib.

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