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re: Epic Fart
Posted on 10/4/17 at 2:43 pm to Central Pork
Posted on 10/4/17 at 2:43 pm to Central Pork
I remember back in college my roommate and I decided to make some deer meat tacos one night and to wash it down with some good ole miller lite. Both of us worked at Lowe's and had t be at work around 6 am. We were taking out turns farting and see who could make the other one gag as we were restocking the shelves. A couple hours later he was up on a ladder and I walked by and crop dusted him and it was terrible. I leave the aisle and a woman and her young daughter come down the aisle behind me. I guess he didn't pay attention and thought it was me behind him and let her rip. Loud as hell and smelled like a three day old summer dumpster. He literally blew arse straight in her face. She had a stunned look and her face and snatched her kid up and hauled arse.
1
Posted on 10/5/17 at 7:10 am to Perrydawg
My wife and I were shopping for a movie in a Blockbuster Video about 15 years ago, and I let our a shockingly loud fart. Everyone in the store turned and looked at us. I looked at my wife and said "Damn, babe" and walked away. Everyone thought it was her. I still laugh about that. She doesn't.
Posted on 10/5/17 at 10:19 am to Central Pork
I was dating my wife, and she invited me to travel with her family to visit her grandparents in Texas. Long road trips give me constipation and her grandmother had made tamales this night. The whole family (her parents, grandparents and an aunt and uncle with their 2 year-old daughter) was in the sun room. I had one building up and couldn't hold it in, so I squeezed it out slowly. It was an SBD, and it burned when it came out so I knew I was in trouble. It took about 10 seconds for her grandfather to say, "Somebody go change that baby's diaper!" About 3 seconds later it had wafted through the entire room. Eyes were watering, gag reflexes were induced. The room emptied like it was on fire.
The aunt took the kid to the bathroom and emerged a minute later saying the diaper was clean. Everyone started looking around the room and all eyes eventually came to a stop on me. The jig was up. Heckuva first impression.
The aunt took the kid to the bathroom and emerged a minute later saying the diaper was clean. Everyone started looking around the room and all eyes eventually came to a stop on me. The jig was up. Heckuva first impression.
Posted on 10/5/17 at 10:24 am to LittleJerrySeinfield
quote:
About 3 seconds later it had wafted through the entire room. Eyes were watering, gag reflexes were induced. The room emptied like it was on fire.
Bubba, is that you?
Posted on 10/5/17 at 10:28 am to Cheese Grits
It actually is me.
Posted on 10/5/17 at 2:34 pm to LittleJerrySeinfield
Holy crap, you can let go some deadly SBD's!
Posted on 10/5/17 at 2:45 pm to Cheese Grits
This is heart touching.
Posted on 10/6/17 at 10:15 am to Cheese Grits
Surely this is just an awesome coincidence.
You don't live in Texarkana, do you?
You don't live in Texarkana, do you?
Posted on 10/6/17 at 5:32 pm to Cheese Grits
They really are, the best is when your victims have no where to go to escape the smell. I got a large group of people on a ski lift and blamed a girl in my youth group when I was younger. She was so embarrassed and surprisingly I played it off to where the strangers really thought it was her.
Posted on 10/7/17 at 3:46 am to Central Pork
Same thing happened to me about a week ago. wife woke up from a dead sleep. I didn’t say a word. One of the dogs let out a little bark. Lol
This post was edited on 10/7/17 at 4:22 am
Posted on 10/7/17 at 7:34 am to LittleJerrySeinfield
I lived in Arkansas in the 70"s but more Hot Springs and Fort Smith
It would be hilarious if you are the Bubba from my memory but if not, you may at least be related based on your story. I do think there is some genetic component. Bubba I know ate the exact same food at the same places as I did but his SBD's were legendary. I never approached what he could produce.
We were in TX once at a decent food joint and feel sure he ruined the dining experience for many. I got the hell out before the main stink wave hit. Actually felt bad for the other patrons. When we rode in the truck together I would make him pull over and break wind outside, then he had to stay out for 5 - 10 min so it would not linger inside.
As for a deadly combination Beer + White Castles - Krystals + 4 to 8 hours in the body. Resulting SBD's the next day would be real chemical warfare.
It would be hilarious if you are the Bubba from my memory but if not, you may at least be related based on your story. I do think there is some genetic component. Bubba I know ate the exact same food at the same places as I did but his SBD's were legendary. I never approached what he could produce.
We were in TX once at a decent food joint and feel sure he ruined the dining experience for many. I got the hell out before the main stink wave hit. Actually felt bad for the other patrons. When we rode in the truck together I would make him pull over and break wind outside, then he had to stay out for 5 - 10 min so it would not linger inside.
As for a deadly combination Beer + White Castles - Krystals + 4 to 8 hours in the body. Resulting SBD's the next day would be real chemical warfare.
Posted on 10/7/17 at 7:37 am to Central Pork
Had my last week, silent but deadly. Cleared a small room out. One guy was actually coughing.
Posted on 10/7/17 at 2:16 pm to Sody Cracker
quote:
Best all time was the one that made my five year old son laugh as hard and long as anyone ever has.
That reminds me of one when my oldest daughter was five years old. She was watching TV and I was standing there and needed to fart. The Yorkie walked by and I picked her up and stuck her on my arse and farted on it. I said, "Fart Absorber." She laughed forever.
Unfortunately, she got in trouble at school that week for doing something similar to a classmate.
Posted on 10/7/17 at 3:22 pm to Central Pork
Posted on 10/8/17 at 11:34 am to SafetySam
One of my favorites was when I was at a church and let a silent one rip next to some dudes as I was walking by. A few seconds later, I heard them all go "Ghwaaa!! Who did that!?!?". It was pretty hilarious.
One of my favorite ones that someone else did was when I was on a religious retreat in high school. Some fat girl let out a really loud one in the middle of everyone. It was even louder than most of my best farts The people that heard it were shocked. Lol
One of my favorite ones that someone else did was when I was on a religious retreat in high school. Some fat girl let out a really loud one in the middle of everyone. It was even louder than most of my best farts The people that heard it were shocked. Lol
Posted on 10/8/17 at 11:56 am to cbree88
I fly a lot for work. What I hate is international flights to china. Those bastards will rip one anywhere any time. No fricks given. 17 hours and you are guaranteed to get some air biscuits that wont go away beacuse you are locked in the big aluminum tube. Indians (dot head) are as bad or worse.
Posted on 10/8/17 at 12:18 pm to Pavoloco83
Farting in a plane is so wrong if you think about it. You're sitting in a can of pressurized air with like 200 other people.
Posted on 10/8/17 at 4:57 pm to Central Pork
Here's a good story that I posted on the tigerdroppings OT the other day.
One of the girls that I went to college with told me about a time with her and her friends. She was living in Mississippi at the time near Starkville. One day she and her friends were riding around in her sister's Volkswagen Beetle. It was raining heavily and then one of her friends let out a wallpaper-melting fart. They couldn't open the windows to let it out because it was raining, so they all had to sit there and suffer through it. They were all freaking out and almost wrecked the car.
I thought it was pretty hilarious. I expect 40-year old men to do that kind of stuff, not 20-year old girls. Lol
One of the girls that I went to college with told me about a time with her and her friends. She was living in Mississippi at the time near Starkville. One day she and her friends were riding around in her sister's Volkswagen Beetle. It was raining heavily and then one of her friends let out a wallpaper-melting fart. They couldn't open the windows to let it out because it was raining, so they all had to sit there and suffer through it. They were all freaking out and almost wrecked the car.
I thought it was pretty hilarious. I expect 40-year old men to do that kind of stuff, not 20-year old girls. Lol
Posted on 10/9/17 at 10:18 am to cbree88
It's funny that my own farts don't bother me, even the bad ones, except when I'm in the shower. Something about knowing you can't away from the smell even if you wanted to makes it worse.
Posted on 10/13/17 at 7:33 pm to LittleJerrySeinfield
Locking windows in cars were the best invention ever. Just saying.
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