Spurrier and the Arby's Consipracy

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WHY DOES STEVE SPURRIER VISIT THE SAME ARBY'S AFTER EVERY SEC MEDIA DAY?

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2. This Arby's contains every SEC team's allotment of passing yards for the upcoming season. Prior to 1995, this knowledge was known only to Steve Spurrier. Since then, the news has slowly spread to other teams, and now Spurrier is forced to split them with everyone else with relative equality among teams. Will Muschamp attempted to find this Arby's once. He was rescued by Alabama Fish and Wildlife officials in Cheaha State Park days later, bloody and crying about the "man inside his cellphone he killed for tellin' him how to drive."

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4. In 1992, Linda Ronstadt sent a letter to Spurrier. It was short, but clear:

ARBY'S I-65, EXIT 255 1:30 PM ¡BESOS!

But she'd neglected to put a date. Never one to quit, he's shown up here every day since.

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6. Poses as a state health inspector, warning management to be on the lookout for a quarantine escapee named "Bret Bielema." He leaves each franchise two items: a blacklight ("check his scalp if you don't believe me") and an incendiary grenade.

7. Visits yearly to ask if the store is "Clemson football, because I heard y'all got turnovers."

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