Years ago, I was dating this girl who was bigger. I was a big guy myself so whatever. Well, she had made fun of her weight a few times as did I and felt we both it took lightly. Anyway, flash forward to a few nights later, we're laying in bed and she asks if she can get on top. I look, then just say, "No sorry, my dick has a weight limit" thinking she'd laugh. She slapped the shite out of me and never heard from her again.

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Posted by Merck

Tuscaloosa

Member since Nov 2009

1693 posts

Posted on 8/6/16 at 2:48 am to xxKylexx

My ex wife got into this kick of whispering "I'll do anything you want" in the middle of sex. "Just tell me you want, I'll do anything." The first time she said it, I immediately thought this was gonna be great, but then... I said I wanted a blow job. "Well anything but THAT."

"Doggy style?"

"Anything but THAT."

"Will you get on top?" I asked.

"Anything but THAT."

After she pulled that shite 3 or 4 different times in bed I finally told her "Just lay there and shut the frick up."

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Posted by LSUGrad9295

Baton Rouge

Member since May 2007

33545 posts

Posted on 8/6/16 at 12:03 pm to xxKylexx

quote:
Years ago, I was dating this girl who was bigger. I was a big guy myself so whatever. Well, she had made fun of her weight a few times as did I and felt we both it took lightly. Anyway, flash forward to a few nights later, we're laying in bed and she asks if she can get on top. I look, then just say, "No sorry, my dick has a weight limit" thinking she'd laugh. She slapped the shite out of me and never heard from her again.

Damn...life is hard enough when other people cock-block you, but it has a special kind of sting when you cock-block yourself...

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