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I have another confession: Yall are welcome for Bruce Pearl
Posted on 3/17/15 at 11:29 am
Posted on 3/17/15 at 11:29 am
if I was a foot taller then Tony Barbee would still be Auburn's basketball coach this season and somebody else would have hired Bruce Pearl. Maybe even Bama 
because Grant wouldn't have beaten Auburn for 4 years and been fired sooner.
For you see, if I was a foot taller I would have been a badass SF. That savvy white guy who plays smart and has a deadly shot that every team needs to succeed. I'm aggressive as hell in the paint, play good D and I'm a sniper from behind the arch. The only thing lacking in my game is size. Not just height, but I have tiny hands and full sized balls get away from me sometimes.
Last season would have been my RS Senior season and I love a Auburn so much not even Tony Barbee could have run me off. Pair my relentless game with Kenny Gabriel and Frankie Sullivan early in my career and there is two NIT berths. Given my leadership and the chemistry I would have had with KT and Chris Denson last season I would have almost certainly led AU to 20 wins and an NCAA tourney berth during my senior season last year on my way to getting drafted in the second round. Tony Barbee would have likely gotten a contract extension following my success and tore the program into the ground starting this season.
But don't thank me for Bruce Pearl, thank my father for having children with a short Arabian woman. I know now that Bruce Pearl is what's best for the future of the program and I'm not bitter about sacrificing my career and an NCAA tourney berth as a senior for all the final fours Pearl will bring to AU.
thank you all for being so understanding once again
because Grant wouldn't have beaten Auburn for 4 years and been fired sooner. For you see, if I was a foot taller I would have been a badass SF. That savvy white guy who plays smart and has a deadly shot that every team needs to succeed. I'm aggressive as hell in the paint, play good D and I'm a sniper from behind the arch. The only thing lacking in my game is size. Not just height, but I have tiny hands and full sized balls get away from me sometimes.
Last season would have been my RS Senior season and I love a Auburn so much not even Tony Barbee could have run me off. Pair my relentless game with Kenny Gabriel and Frankie Sullivan early in my career and there is two NIT berths. Given my leadership and the chemistry I would have had with KT and Chris Denson last season I would have almost certainly led AU to 20 wins and an NCAA tourney berth during my senior season last year on my way to getting drafted in the second round. Tony Barbee would have likely gotten a contract extension following my success and tore the program into the ground starting this season.
But don't thank me for Bruce Pearl, thank my father for having children with a short Arabian woman. I know now that Bruce Pearl is what's best for the future of the program and I'm not bitter about sacrificing my career and an NCAA tourney berth as a senior for all the final fours Pearl will bring to AU.
thank you all for being so understanding once again
8
Posted on 3/17/15 at 12:11 pm to BowlJackson
Posted on 3/17/15 at 12:32 pm to BowlJackson
Raise your hand if you didn't read! 
Posted on 3/17/15 at 12:35 pm to BowlJackson
What the...
Posted on 3/17/15 at 12:50 pm to sorrycholly
I read. It was a big mistake.
Posted on 3/17/15 at 12:53 pm to m45auburn
I was a mistake too. If my father had properly planned for me then I would have been a foot taller and saved Tony Barbee's job. Sometimes mistakes turn out for the best
Posted on 3/17/15 at 1:34 pm to BowlJackson
I feel ya. When I was a kid I yelled at my mother for not having slept with a better athlete than my dad. I blamed him for my lack of height and speed. All I had was these amazing good looks and a bad attitude.
Posted on 3/17/15 at 2:00 pm to BowlJackson
If I was born with more height and a little more athleticism, I would've been offered the scholarship and then I would've fought you every day in practice. That would've divided the team and we would've lost every game. Barbee would've been fired at the same time and we would still get Bruce Pearl. Then he would've saw that I was the better player and kicked you off the team and we would've gone to the final four this year
Posted on 3/17/15 at 2:06 pm to BowlJackson
Ain't reading that giant wall of text
Posted on 3/17/15 at 3:54 pm to Pavoloco83
quote:
I feel ya. When I was a kid I yelled at my mother for not having slept with a better athlete than my dad. I blamed him for my lack of height and speed. All I had was these amazing good looks and a bad attitude.
I always blamed my dad because his side is full of athletic Aryans and then he married my tiny half Lebanese mom who has tiny brothers and a dad. Plus I figure you have to come from your dad more than your mom because sperms are wiggly and alive looking and eggs aren't.
He got set up in college with a black cheerleader who was a twin but he chickened out because she was the daughter of a rich doctor and he was a poor farm boy. I give him shite about that because being half black (and the son of two athletic people) would have done wonders for my sports career
Posted on 3/17/15 at 5:01 pm to BowlJackson
Posted on 3/17/15 at 7:01 pm to BowlJackson
quote:
That savvy white guy who plays smart and has a deadly shot that every team needs to succeed.
i am going to say something racist Bowl. I thought you were a black guy.
Posted on 3/17/15 at 7:08 pm to BowlJackson
quote:
my tiny half Lebanese mom
Dat tight pussy doe. amirite?
And like Lanier, I thought you were melanin enhanced as well. I see you are really probably more of a cafe macchiato.
This post was edited on 3/17/15 at 7:09 pm
Posted on 3/17/15 at 7:24 pm to Pavoloco83
Not really. I get tan but I definitely look white. Why did yall think I was black?
Posted on 3/17/15 at 7:27 pm to BowlJackson
quote:
. Why did yall think I was black?
I picture those of you here that I have never met.
You are a black guy in my world.
Posted on 3/17/15 at 7:36 pm to LanierSpots
I am pretty "hip" and "down" as far as white folks go.
Posted on 3/17/15 at 9:31 pm to BowlJackson
quote:
I am pretty "hip" and "down" as far as white folks go.
That might be true...but I seriously doubt that any self-respecting black dude would ever make a message board post that included the following phrase:
quote:
I have tiny hands and full sized balls get away from me sometimes
This post was edited on 3/17/15 at 9:32 pm
Posted on 3/18/15 at 8:33 am to LanierSpots
quote:
. Why did yall think I was black?
quote:
I picture those of you here that I have never met.
This gives me a new thread idea.
Posted on 3/18/15 at 8:51 am to BowlJackson
If you were a foot taller you would have been a SF?
Just how short are you that you wouldn't be a PF/C?
Just how short are you that you wouldn't be a PF/C?
Posted on 3/18/15 at 9:18 am to BowlJackson
quote:
I get tan but I definitely look white. Why did yall think I was black?
Dunno, you just seem to have more rhythm than most of the posters on here.
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