Borrowed from one of the checkerboard thingies:

tns56 wrote: I've had this copied for several years. As the story goes, this was posted on a UCLA message board prior to Alabama's visit in 2000. It was posted by a Georgia Tech student posing as a Bama fan. You first times should enjoy reading it.

Bamaboy's "physical solution" post on UCLA board,

Once more with feeling -- I just stumbled across this thing, something I copied a couple of years ago from a UCLA board prior to Bama's visit to the Rose Bowl in 2000. I hadn't read it in a while and still got a good chuckle out of it, whether true or not. Here it is:

I'll tell you one thing Posted by: Bamaboy Tue 7/18/00 12:08pm

I am looking forward to the games this year but I do not want any problems. Whenever I go to an away game or a visiting team comes into Tuscaloosa to play Alabama I make it a point to get a few things cleared up before the game starts.

First off, you guys are playing The University of Alabama. We are not some 2nd rate team from some backwards conference. Alabama is among the elite. The best. A tradition that goes back a long way. National Championships, many bowl wins, SEC Championships, high national rankings, etc. The list goes on.

With that resume comes respect. The kind of respect that can only be earned. The Alabama fans carry that respect whether we are at home or on the road and a few things need to be understood. When Alabama comes to town you are seeing one of the movers and shakers in all of college football and the fans are no exception.

First, there will NOT be any yelling in my ear during the game. I darn well don't plan on driving all that distance to your stadium to have some guy yell in my ear. I will ask you one time to stop and no more. I don't mind clapping but this incessant yelling is out. If you continue then I will take a physical solution that you will not like. I will NEVER provoke but if you guys think that yelling in my ear is gonna be tolerated you are in for a big surprise.

Same thing for the kids. Sure, they can be there but keep them out of my area and keep them quiet. If you cannot control the kids then you will be held responsible and I will take matters into my own hand. We don't put up with that crap in Tuscaloosa and we darn well aren't gonna drive all that distance to your place and put up with it.

If I have to go to the restroom I don't wait in line, I go to the front. This is an area where I have encountered some problems before so I am just making it clear now. A Bama fan has earned the right to not wait in some bathroom line and we choose to not do it. If you have a problem with this you had better go to a "home" restroom or to one where the Alabama fans are not in. If you do decide to make an issue out of it then be prepared to face a physical solution.

Ditto for concessions. We go to the front of the line. Not out of spite or to try to show you up. It is all about showing respect, folks. Again, if you have a problem with this I advise you to keep away from me or the Alabama contingent. I am very upfront and honest when I tell you that it ain’t nothing for me to up and kick a man's arse. Done it several times and I'll do it again if pushed. NEVER will I provoke, though. It is YOU that determines my actions.

This post was edited on 10/26/13 at 3:21 am